Lois Quote #503

Quote from Lois in Reese Comes Home: Part 3

Lois: I'm sorry I'm so late. I had to take the bus home. I sold the car. I bought a plane ticket to Kabul. There's $400 left. I'd give it to you to pay down the Visa bill, but I need it for bribes.
Hal: What?!
Lois: I'm gonna go get him.
Hal: What are you talking about? You can't just go get him.
Lois: Yes, I can. Tonight, I'm gonna buy enough frozen dinners to last you and the boys for three weeks. Then tomorrow, I'm flying to Kabul. If I don't get anywhere with the Army, I'll hire an interpreter and get the locals to help me. If I have to, I'll make friends with a warlord. Those guys are pretty organized. I'll find him, Hal.
Hal: And when does the little bird pop out of your head and start singing?
Lois: This is what's happening, Hal.

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 ‘Reese Comes Home: Part 3’ Quotes

Quote from Hal

Hal: It doesn't have to be tuna surprise. It can be chicken surprise, or beef, but there will be a surprise involved.

Quote from Lois

Lois: Give one of them special privileges for no reason.
Sgt. Hendrix: How does that work?
Lois: It's really pretty neat. The others don't know why he got special privileges so they start doing everything right just to catch up. Then the one you singled out starts getting suspicious and paranoid and he starts informing on the stragglers.
Sgt. Hendrix: That sounds pretty good. You mind if I steal that one?
Lois: Yeah, be my guest. You know another good one? Let them pick punishments for each other. It exercises their creativity and keeps them from ganging up on you.
Sgt. Hendrix: Nice.
Lois: You can also take their breakfast, lunch and dinner, put it the blender and grind it up into a gray paste. Eventually, they eat it. That's kind of fun.
Sgt. Hendrix: You are an artist.
Lois: No, I'm just a talented amateur.
Sgt. Hendrix: I wish I could help you. I wish I could just open this drawer up and show you the information you need. But I can't. It's got me so frustrated that I just want to stare intently out this window for, oh, say... 120 seconds.

Quote from Lois

Malcolm: Mom, what happened?
Lois: I'll tell you what happened. I told them how my underage son ran away and joined the army under false pretenses and was sent off to combat and you know what they said? They said if you can find out what name he used, they can have him back to us in six months. Six months! They'll have him back to us in six months?!
Malcolm: [to camera] I don't know if she's upset he's gonna get killed, or met someone else is gonna do it.
Hal: Honey, you know you're gonna lose a nail inside your palm again. Just calm down and let the army-
Lois: I don't trust the army, which means this family has to find him, and I don't trust this family, which means I have to find him. [Lois unclenches her hand]
Hal: Two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star?
Lois: And he blubbered like a baby.