Piama Quote #35

Quote from Piama in Hal Coaches

Francis: Look, I'm going to ask you one last time, for the sake of our marriage, what did you do?
Piama: [whispers] Took her parakeet.
Francis: What?
Piama: I took her parakeet!
Francis: You stole the woman's pet? The woman's pet?!
Piama: You protect the people you love. I figured you would do the same for me.
Francis: But I would tell you. And if I was gonna grab someone's parakeet and hold it hostage... Well, jee, I wouldn't do that. How long were you going to keep it for, anyway?
Piama: 'Til she behaved. And if she didn't, I guess I'd have killed it.
Francis: See?! That's where it gets alarming again. But putting aside the horrible nature of the act itself, what's upsetting is, you made this unilateral decision-
Piama: I said I was sorry! How many times do you want me to say it?
Francis: You didn't say you were sorry.


 ‘Hal Coaches’ Quotes

Quote from Malcolm

Stevie: You were supposed... to meet me... at the library.
Malcolm: Oh, yeah, sorry. You know, I actually found something decent on Ed's computer.
Stevie: The Virts?
Malcolm: Yeah, you create a virtual family, put them in different situations and the computer plays out their lives. I'm putting the characters in right now.
Stevie: Is that... your mom?
Malcolm: Not yet. [turns aggressiveness level to 10] Reese. [turns intelligence down to 0]
Stevie: Make sure... you capture... the blackness... of his soul.
Malcolm: Aggressiveness, ten. Hygiene, zero. OK, now me. Appearance... nine. No, ten. A ten for intelligence. And social skills, ten.
Stevie: Too bad... it doesn't go... higher.
Malcolm: I have social skills, jackass! OK, it's dinner time. Where's Malcolm?
Stevie: Looking at himself... in the mirror.

Quote from Lois

Lois: [o.s.] I can't believe you, Dewey! How could you do this?
Reese: When is she going to stop? I'm starving. Go get us some food.
Malcolm: I'm not going out there.
[in the kitchen, Lois and Hal are sitting at the table reading magazines with Dewey nowhere in sight:]
Lois: Sorry doesn't cut it, young man.
Hal: This was a good idea. I just wish you had told me earlier. I was hiding outside for 45 minutes before I came in.
Lois: I saw you.

Quote from Piama

Francis: The blood from my knees was tracking behind where I'd already scrubbed, so I had to keep going around until, finally, she let me put towels on my knees. So, how was your day? Did you make a lot of snow globes?
Piama: I don't care about that. My husband is being disrespected by a woman who isn't fit to eat the crap between your toes. Somebody ought to cut that woman's belly open with a rusty knife and strangle her with her own entrails.
Francis: I love you, too.