Hal Quote #215
Lois: Oh, my God. Hal, look at this. We still have a Christmas present for one of the boys. I wonder what it is.
Hal: Reese ever get that football jersey?
Lois: I can't remember.
Hal: Well, you know, honey, the boys got so much for Christmas last year, they don't even appreciate what they have. If we save it for his birthday, it'll be that much more special.
Lois: Hal, this one's for you.
Hal: [gasps] Oh, boy! [starts unwrapping] You did get me that DVD player I've been hoping for. I thought you forgot. To be honest with you, I've been holding a grudge for months. [giggles] Now I get to watch all those DVDs I've got hidden in the garage. Oh. Jumper cables. Thank you, honey.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Mini-Bike’ Quotes
Quote from Spangler
Spangler: An untucked shirttail, Cadet? Is that what we teach you here? To disgrace your uniform? I think not.
Francis: Sir, his shirt just came untucked when he was hugging his father. You can't yell at him for hugging his father.
Hal: Francis...
Francis: No.
Spangler: No, I'm glad you saw this. This is exactly what I was talking about. Always undermining my authority. Day in, day out, it's the same thing. Like when I had Cadet Dooley run 600 laps of the perimeter for an inside-out pillowcase violation, Francis organizes a sit-in. Or when I cut off the electricity to the fifth floor for a contraband boom box, he hijacks a generator for them. The boy lives to cause chaos.
Francis: He was hugging his dad!
Spangler: In front of his own father, he still defies me at every turn.
Hal: And every time something like that happens, he challenges you?
Spangler: Every time.
Hal: Even when he knows he'll get in trouble?
Spangler: That doesn't seem to matter to him at all.
Hal: I understand.
Quote from Spangler
Hal: Look, I... I understand that, uh, Francis is never going to be the perfect kid. You see, what I'm asking for here is, is just a little... ray of hope. Anything at all?
Spangler: Francis is... ...not interested in learning. Francis is... interested in causing trouble. I'm sorry to have to say that, but I have seen his type before. All he likes to do is flout authority. He has contempt for rules. He lives to undermine and destroy. He feels no compunction...
Hal: Okay. I get it. Isn't there anything positive you can tell me?
Spangler: Sorry. [Hal gets up to leave] Oh, wait.
Hal: Yes?
Spangler: Do you want chicken or fish tonight?
Quote from Craig
Lois: What's the matter, Craig?
Craig: What does it say on this jar?
Lois: "Craig."
Craig: Well, I'm glad someone around here can read. These jars come with 14 pickles in them. I had three yesterday, two for lunch today and one-and-a-half for a snack, and now there are six-and-a-half pickles in this jar! Simple math indicates...
Lois: Are you counting the one in your hand?
Craig: Okay, false alarm.
Lois: [quietly to herself] We burned his house down. We burned his house down.