Lois: What's the matter, Craig?
Craig: What does it say on this jar?
Lois: "Craig."
Craig: Well, I'm glad someone around here can read. These jars come with 14 pickles in them. I had three yesterday, two for lunch today and one-and-a-half for a snack, and now there are six-and-a-half pickles in this jar! Simple math indicates...
Lois: Are you counting the one in your hand?
Craig: Okay, false alarm.
Lois: [quietly to herself] We burned his house down. We burned his house down.