Lois Quote #163
Quote from Lois in Traffic Ticket
Malcolm: Mom, seriously, I'm not letting that kid with two fingers cut my hair again.
Lois: That's all you need to use scissors. And you be polite. Those people are nervous enough as it is. [police siren wails] Oh, what? I didn't do anything!
Reese: Make a run for it, Mom. We can be on the news.
Lois: All right, you boys, not a word out of any of you. No one makes piggy sounds, no one says they smell bacon, and no one claims to be kidnapped.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Traffic Ticket’ Quotes
Quote from Francis
Malcolm: [on the phone] Hey, Francis. You know Mom's traffic ticket? Well, I have a videotape, and it shows that Mom really was at fault, and...
Francis: She was wrong?
Malcolm: Yeah, and now I'm trying to figure...
Francis: What are you talking to me for? You have incontrovertible proof that Mom was wrong. Shove it in her face.
Malcolm: Francis, I don't think that's a good idea.
Francis: Are you kidding? It's brilliant. From now on, whenever she gets all high-and-mighty with us, we can just throw this back at her.
Malcolm: Francis, I can't. If I show Mom this tape, she'll go crazy and then she'll kill the messenger, which is me. You're asking me to commit suicide.
Francis: And think of the look on her face!
Quote from Reese
Reese: Just remember, Mom, in a world of lies, truth is your only weapon. [off everyone's looks] What? It's not?
Quote from Craig
Craig: Lois, Lois... I give Officer Stockton a discount. You know, policeman's discount? [whispers] 100% off?
Lois: Craig, I can't do that.
Craig: But, Lois...
Officer Stockton: Don't worry about it. It's okay, Greg. [walks away]
Craig: It's "Craig." [to Lois] What are you, crazy? Don't you know how this works? We scratch his back, he scratches ours? We give him a few candy bars, he looks out for us. It's called protection.
Lois: Craig, we have been robbed five times in the last six months.
Craig: Lois, think of all the places he gets free stuff from. He can't be everywhere at once.