Craig Quote #29
Quote from Craig in Traffic Ticket
Craig: Lois, Lois... I give Officer Stockton a discount. You know, policeman's discount? [whispers] 100% off?
Lois: Craig, I can't do that.
Craig: But, Lois...
Officer Stockton: Don't worry about it. It's okay, Greg. [walks away]
Craig: It's "Craig." [to Lois] What are you, crazy? Don't you know how this works? We scratch his back, he scratches ours? We give him a few candy bars, he looks out for us. It's called protection.
Lois: Craig, we have been robbed five times in the last six months.
Craig: Lois, think of all the places he gets free stuff from. He can't be everywhere at once.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Traffic Ticket’ Quotes
Quote from Francis
Malcolm: [on the phone] Hey, Francis. You know Mom's traffic ticket? Well, I have a videotape, and it shows that Mom really was at fault, and...
Francis: She was wrong?
Malcolm: Yeah, and now I'm trying to figure...
Francis: What are you talking to me for? You have incontrovertible proof that Mom was wrong. Shove it in her face.
Malcolm: Francis, I don't think that's a good idea.
Francis: Are you kidding? It's brilliant. From now on, whenever she gets all high-and-mighty with us, we can just throw this back at her.
Malcolm: Francis, I can't. If I show Mom this tape, she'll go crazy and then she'll kill the messenger, which is me. You're asking me to commit suicide.
Francis: And think of the look on her face!
Quote from Reese
Reese: Just remember, Mom, in a world of lies, truth is your only weapon. [off everyone's looks] What? It's not?
Quote from Hal
Craig: You guys are not going to believe what I have. I have a surveillance arrangement with the manager of the mini-mart across the street. We exchange tapes in order to better understand the security needs of our customers.
Hal: "Short skirt, windy day"?
Craig: That's code. Anyhoo, one of their cameras caught Lois from a different angle right before she got her ticket. See? Lois was right all along! This completely exonerates her. Isn't this great? [Hal takes the tape out and stomps on it] What are you doing?
Hal: You will never, ever tell her of this.
Craig: But...
Hal: Ah! Ever.
Dewey: Got it? [Craig nods]