Craig Quote #16
Craig: Did you enjoy your Lucky Aide shopping experience, gentlemen?
Lois: Craig, uh, they're in a hurry.
Craig: This won't take a second. I am Craig, the assistant manager. I can assure you, if there's one thing we value here at Luck Aide, it is customer satisfaction.
Robber #2: We're satisfied.
Craig: [chuckles] Well, you don't sound like it. Please, don't feel like you're going to hurt my feelings, because I'm learning here. Now, I'm sure there's something I could do to make this a better experience for you.
Robber #1: Yeah. How about you walk me to every other register in this place and give me every cent you've got?
Craig: That's a gun!
Lois: Craig, calm down. Everybody, calm down. I've been through this five times. We just give them the money from all the other registers, and they'll leave.
Craig: What about the safe?
Robber #1: Safe?
Craig: ...ty. Safe-ty of the customers.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Robbery’ Quotes
Quote from Craig
Craig: Don't you worry, Lois. Everything is going to be fine. [rapidly pressing panic button] Just fine and dandy. Yeah, keep waving that thing around, buddy-boy. You got a big surprise coming.
Lois: Craig, that button has been disconnected for over a year.
Craig: What?! Why?
Lois: Because you kept hitting the damn thing.
Craig: In an emergency, yes. That's what it's for.
Lois: Oh, like an emergency when you saw a bee? Or when you saw that big fly that looked like a bee? How about when you thought you saw a ghost?
Craig: I'm not saying it was or it wasn't, but you can't tell me what we saw was normal.
Quote from Lois
Craig: Lois, I love you with all my heart. You're my reason to get up in the morning. You are my everything.
Lois: Craig...
Craig: Lois, I don't want to feel this way. I know you're married, I know you have four beautiful boys. It's my heart. I wish I didn't have a heart... but I do, and I can't help loving you. I can't help loving you with my stupid, stupid heart.
Lois: Oh, Craig... why'd you have to say that? Dear sweet Craig. I am truly sorry. I'm sorry for the way you feel. I'm sorry for any indication I ever gave you that I consider you anything more than a friend. And I am so sorry for what I have to do now... because now... I have to crush whatever it is in you that made you do what you just did. I am going to have to hurt you very, very badly, but believe me, Craig, it's for your own good. Number one... no to everything you just said. No to what you're thinking. No to everything you dream. No to your what-ifs. No to every single fantasy, wish, dream, and elaborate scenario that involves the two of us. No, no, no! Number two... [pinches Craig's wrist]
Craig: Ow!
Lois: Remember that pain. And whenever a thought creeps into your head wondering if there's anything more to the hello I gave you in the morning, you remember that pain. You have no future with me. You have nothing with me. I'm sorry.
Quote from Hal
Hal: [on the phone] How much? Boy. Well, can you guarantee that you'll get all of them? What? That's per bat?! Are you insane?! God! [hangs up] Well, boys, looks like we're on our own.
Reese: What are you talking about? Isn't anyone coming?
Dewey: I'm scared.
Hal: Aw... I know, son. Now, just think of them this way. They're only rats with wings. And radar. Just flying rats with radar. Say it with me. Just...
All: Flying rats with radar.
Hal: Once again.
All: Flying rats with... [all scream]