Hal Quote #755
Quote from Hal in Reese vs. Stevie
Hal: Keep it down. Look, Dewey, I'm sorry, but I had such a hard time quitting. The only way I could do it without freaking out was knowing they were there. I know it sounds crazy.
Dewey: I'll tell you what's crazy. Being hooked on these stupid things even though I hate the way they taste and smell.
Hal: Well, those are really stale. You're not getting the fresh, rich flavor... Never mind! The point is, you can beat this. We'll do it together. Listen, you know how much I love coffee, right?
Dewey: Yeah, I've seen you drink it in the shower.
Hal: Exactly. I must drink three pots a day, easy. Well, I'm willing to give it up for you, cold turkey, if you give up smoking.
Dewey: Really?
Hal: Absolutely. That way we're both suffering. We both know what the other's going through and we can support each other. You and me, Dewey. We'll be a team.
Dewey: That sounds great, Dad. Just let me have one more to get it out of my system. We can start-
Hal: Dewey.
Dewey: All right.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Reese vs. Stevie’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
[When Lois pulls into the driveway with a car full of groceries, she is listening to an audio book, "A Dish Served Deadsly" ]
Man: [on tape] While Betty kept the fat man occupied, I ducked down the hallway to his office.
If I found his phone records, they would prove that he was the one who called the police station on the night of the murder.
[that night, Lois is still in the car listening to the tape as she eats the food she bought:]
Man: [on tape] All I knew was, the next person through that door would be the man who killed my partner. "Hello, McKendrick," I heard from behind me. I spun around, but standing there was...
Reese: [on tape] A stupid housewife who wouldn't let her son buy nunchuks even though they're totally safe.
Lois: Reese!
Quote from Lois
Lois: All right, Jamie. The doctor said there's no physical reason you can't talk, so that is exactly what you are going to do. Talk. He said the best way to get you started is for me to talk to you constantly about everything happening around you so that you live in a more verbal world. That means Mommy's going to narrate everything she's doing, like right now when she's going over here to make you a snack. Then it'll be time to do the laundry, and after that she gets to make dinner for the whole family. Who will wolf it down in ten seconds and leave her to do the dishes by herself before she gets to make the boys' lunches for school the next day. Then she'll get ready for bed after everybody else. And discover that the bathroom is a swampy, hairy mess, and Mommy gets to spend her last waking minutes with a sponge and a can of cleanser. Then it'll be time to wake up in the morning and she'll do it all over again. Day after day, week after week, for the next 30 years until Mommy dies. And with Mommy's luck, even that won't be the end of it!
Quote from Abe
Abe: Ah. There you are. Stevie, you ran off without your backup inhaler.
Stevie: Thanks... Dad.
Abe: Did Stevie tell you his big news?
Malcolm: No. What's going on?
Abe: Stevie's been accepted as a research subject at the Norvet Biomedical Institute. Dr. Norvet himself picked him for the motor-neuropathy program.
Stevie: It's... nothing.
Abe: Nothing? Come on, Stevie. This is the most exciting thing that's happened to us since they put your stomach on the inside. Who knows? This Christmas might just be our first ski vacation.
Stevie: Dad.
Abe: Tomorrow after school we'll go look at snowboards.
Stevie: Dad.
Abe: I said just look.