Hal: Keep it down. Look, Dewey, I'm sorry, but I had such a hard time quitting. The only way I could do it without freaking out was knowing they were there. I know it sounds crazy.
Dewey: I'll tell you what's crazy. Being hooked on these stupid things even though I hate the way they taste and smell.
Hal: Well, those are really stale. You're not getting the fresh, rich flavor... Never mind! The point is, you can beat this. We'll do it together. Listen, you know how much I love coffee, right?
Dewey: Yeah, I've seen you drink it in the shower.
Hal: Exactly. I must drink three pots a day, easy. Well, I'm willing to give it up for you, cold turkey, if you give up smoking.
Dewey: Really?
Hal: Absolutely. That way we're both suffering. We both know what the other's going through and we can support each other. You and me, Dewey. We'll be a team.
Dewey: That sounds great, Dad. Just let me have one more to get it out of my system. We can start-
Hal: Dewey.
Dewey: All right.