Malcolm Quote #650

Quote from Malcolm in Butterflies

Norm: I overheard her on the phone saying she's sick of guys who play games. She says she just wants someone who's honest and straightforward.
Malcolm: That's great. I'm totally honest and straightforward.
Norm: Actually, you're more like blunt and aggressive. But that's okay. You just got to slow down, give yourself a chance. She spent 22 minutes and 18 seconds looking through Hallmark cards. She needs to be treated gently. Here's some stuff she likes. Movies, music, shampoo brands, paper towels... Uh, well, some of it's more useful than others, but learn it all. When the time's right, you can show her how much you have in common with her.
Malcolm: Thanks. This is great.
Lois: Who are you talking to?
Malcolm: Um, I was just singing. [sings] Thanks, this is great, As long as we're together, girl. Yeah. In my car.

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 ‘Butterflies’ Quotes

Quote from Lois

Lois: [over P.A.] Attention, Lucky Aide trespasser. You do not get to do this. You do not get to live off the grid. If anyone on the planet was entitled to hide from all the aggravation, it would be me, but I don't, do you understand? No one gets to shirk their share of the misery. Everyone has to be stuck in this together. That's what's fair. Those are the rules. Now, you obviously know me, so you know what I'm willing to do to find you. So save us both the time and come out now.
[Norm emerges from an aisle]
Craig: Let me handle this. [to Norm] Do you know anything about a guy living in the store?

Quote from Malcolm

Lois: All right, what's in this bag?
Malcolm: Nothing. I'm restocking.
Lois: Fresh fruit? A package of all-cotton underwear? A decent book? We don't sell this stuff.
Malcolm: Okay, fine. If you must know, I was restocking my locker. I've been having intense stomach problems, and that's what the fruit is for, and the underwear, and sadly, the book, too. And now that you've publicly humiliated me, can I go about my business? [to camera] Okay, not bad. It's plausible, embarrassing enough for the outburst, and essentially unprovable. I just have to stand my ground.

Quote from Craig

Malcolm: That's weird. Did you see anyone?
Lois: What?
Malcolm: Someone left a candy wrapper and change on the counter here, but nobody's been in the store for hours.
Craig: It was probably a mouse.
Malcolm: A mouse that left the exact change?
Craig: I played tic-tac-toe with a chicken at the county fair, and it beat me eight times in a row. Don't shortchange animals.