Hal Quote #603
Hal: Well, the sanitation department claims that the trash man has an airtight alibi for last night. If I want to haul this stuff away myself, I need $1,200 for a 19 ton truck, and a classified sanitation license, which I'm pretty sure I don't have. Honey, I don't want you to worry about this. I will get rid of this crud, no matter how long it takes. [a man walking his dog throws a bottle on the trash heap] Hey, what makes you think that's okay?! [to Lois] Honey, I am not going to tell you that this is ideal. But if we refuse to fight this fight, then we're really living in garbage. Garbage of the spirit! And that's got to be the worst kind. Now, I feel sorry for our neighbors with no garbage on their lawn, but we don't want to sound too superior, everyone's doing the best they can. [Lois walks off] You know Lois, there are things I don't say, like none of this would have happened if you'd let us have a cat!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Standee’ Quotes
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: You know what's really bothering you? You don't think I'm prejudiced. You're just mad that at work I don't have to obey you. And now that I'm getting older, you're losing more and more control over me every day. You can't stand that soon I'll be free!
Trey: He has a dream!
Malik: Sing it, my brother!
Lois: Should we talk about what's really bothering you? It's that you know I'm right! You do have a code of ethics that you're trying to deny!
Malcolm: What do you know about ethics? Bringing this in here to embarrass me in front of Dad's friends?! Did I tell Dad how you said that sooner or later he'll realize he'll look ridiculous, and quit this stupid fight with the trash man?! Did I?! No! Because, no matter how mad I get, I always treat you with some level of decency!
Hal: I'll realize I look ridiculous.
Lois: Hal, that's not the point!
Quote from Lois
Lois: What is this?
Craig: It's the new ad campaign for Smooth Malt Liquor.
Lois: You don't find this offensive?!
Craig: Why?
Lois: Well, it's a Black janitor with a mop and a six pack of Malt Liquor in his hand.
Craig: I don't know that he's the janitor, maybe he just spilled something.
Lois: His name is Slappy?!
Craig: A delightful throwback to a simpler time.
Lois: Well, I'm getting rid of it.
Craig: If you get caught, I don't know about this. And I would have loved to have been called Slappy growing up!
Quote from Reese
Reese: Dewey, could you reach in my sock drawer and get me a pair of socks?
Dewey: OK.
Reese: Not that one. On top.
Dewey: Not on the top of the dresser. Right in front of you, the sock drawer.
Reese: That's your sock drawer. Go next to it. On the other side. Not behind the dresser. All you have to do is reach into my drawer and... [Reese screams as a crab bites his finger] So stupid, Dewey.