Hal Quote #504
Quote from Hal in Christmas Trees
Hal: Would you like to buy a Christmas tree for ten dollars?
Man: No, we already have a tree.
Hal: [quietly] You got to help me out. I just yanked my boys back from the brink of despair and convinced them that life was worth living. If you walk away without handing me ten dollars, then their futures aren't worth a damn. Now, I desperately need to teach them the value of perseverance, and you can help me.
Man: I don't think...
Hal: I'll lick your shoes. Have you ever actually seen someone do that? I haven't. That's got to be worth ten dollars. I'll even...
Man: Here, take the money.
Hal: Take it as far as the sidewalk. [loudly] Pleasure doing business with you, sir. See what happens when you believe, boys? We are profitable!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Christmas Trees’ Quotes
Quote from Otto
Otto: I disown all of you! All of you! I never thought I would feel ashamed of being German.
Quote from Craig
Lois: Because every time you come in contact with me and my family, something horrible happens to you. I can't deal with the guilt anymore.
Craig: I don't know what you're talking about.
Lois: Come on, if it weren't for us, you'd still have all your teeth. You wouldn't flinch every time you saw a ceiling fan. Your car, it never would have been filled with bees.
Craig: Coincidences.
Lois: Craig, you broke your foot looking up a phone number for me.
Craig: Please, Lois, it's Christmas.
Lois: Here. Maybe you can fluff up the cotton on Santa's beard.
Craig: Thank you. [opens box] Ow! [a squirrel runs out of the box]
Lois: Oh! Well, I wish I could say I was surprised.
Quote from Hal
Dewey: I want you to buy me out.
Hal: No, Dewey, this is just a temporary setback.
Dewey: If you believe that, then buy me out.
Reese: It's over, Dad.
Hal: Over? We're only one tree away!
Malcolm: Dad, we can't get the truck back. We can't use the front lawn. The cops are watching us. Face it, we've lost.
Hal: So you're just going to let a little reality stop you, is that it? Boys, let me tell you something. The only way I've managed to get through my crappy life with any shred of self-worth is by living in denial. If I was going to let myself get beaten by failure, I would've quit after one kid. You just got to keep holding out for a miracle. And if a miracle isn't going to come at Christmas, then when is it going to come?! [doorbell rings] See?! There it is! Our Christmas miracle! I knew it!