Reese: I know I'm the new guy, but you've been on the phone for a half hour and you haven't closed this deal? Remember your ABCs. Always Be Selling.

Hal: What do you say, Reese? You want to take the new boat out this afternoon? Maiden voyage. Just you and me. Father and son slicing through the waves, wind in our hair. And look, I re-did the aft bathroom.
Reese: Sorry, Dad, I start my new job today.
Hal: Oh, come on! You don't actually do any work the first day. You're just filling out forms and deciding on a nemesis.

Lois: All right, Dewey, I know what's going on. [starts looking around her room] I know it's you. If it were Reese, he'd be bragging to everyone about it. Malcolm doesn't have the patience. So, that leaves you, Dewey. If I had any proof, we'd be having this conversation while I was walling you up inside your bedroom closet. [sighs] This is about the volcano, isn't it? All right, I acknowledge that perhaps I was a little inconsiderate of your needs, but that in no way justifies these petty attacks. Still, we have to move on. So, here's the deal: In the future, I promise to be more attentive and aware of your feelings, not that being the loving mother I am, I wouldn't be doing that anyway. Ah-ha! [sighs] And in return, you will promise to stop this stupid campaign to drive me crazy. Just give me a little sign that we understand each other. [two taps] Good.
[When Lois leaves her bedroom, a tree branch is repeatedly tapping against her window]