Malcolm Quote #686
Quote from Malcolm in Halloween
Malcolm: Some of the police reports didn't seem right, so I went to the City Planning Office Web site. Some time after the murders, they split up a double lot down the street, and that changed all the addresses. Look. That's the zoning map. The murders weren't here. All these articles are about the house next door.
Hal: Well, look at that. Ha! That sucker! Do you know how much he paid for that house? Have fun in hell, Peterson! Let me see what he got himself into.
Malcolm: Uh, no, no, no. The pictures are really graphic; you shouldn't-
Hal: Wait a minute. That's our wallpaper and that's the counter. Malcolm, their house doesn't look like this. This is our house. What is going on here?!
Malcolm: Fine! I made it up because I'm sick of your insanity! I dummied up a phony web page to calm you down.
Hal: So you were gonna let me think that I was safe?
Malcolm: I wasn't going to sit in the car with you all night! I'm sick!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Halloween’ Quotes
Quote from Craig
Lois: Hey, hey, hey! What are these?
Karl: I must've knocked those in my pocket accidentally.
Lois: No, I saw you put them in your pocket. Craig, you saw him, too, didn't you?
Craig: Oh, sorry. The patch is over my good eye.
Lois: Well, I'm already into my break. You handle this, Craig, so I can get going.
Craig: Sure, no problem. [winks]
Lois: Did you just wink at him?
Craig: Oh, you were serious.
Lois: Craig, he committed a crime.
Craig: Sure, that's one side of it. But if he didn't steal from us, he'd just be stealing from somewhere else, and then we'd be losing a customer. Do you want to be responsible for that?
Quote from Lois
Lois: All right, you know the plan. You two are taking Jamie. No eggs, no stink bombs, no matches, no catapults, no Mace.
Reese: Fine.
Lois: No explosives.
Reese: Of course not.
Lois: No water balloons, no spray paint, no gasoline, no shaving cream, no toilet paper.
Reese: Wouldn't even think of it.
Lois: No ladder, no compressor, no soup.
Reese: You told her!
Dewey: I did not!
Lois: All right. I know your route. I will catch up with you when I take my break, to see how adorable and safe Jamie is.
Reese: So, um, any idea when that might be?
Lois: You don't need to know when. All you need to know is if you even think about doing anything stupid, I will swoop down out of the sky and land on you like a ton of bricks.
Dewey: So, the usual.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Lois, can I talk to you for a moment? You knew we were buying a death house, and you didn't tell me?!
Lois: I didn't tell you because I knew you'd have this reaction.
Hal: Well, of course I'd have this reaction. I don't like murder. Maybe that's something you should know about me.
Lois: Hal, it's always something with you. You passed on that one house because you thought the doorbell sounded gay. You can't have a perfect house.
Hal: It would be nice to have a murderless one.
Lois: Well, you should just drop it because there's nothing we can do about it. Death and mold are two things you can expect to find in any house, and we are not moving!
Hal: There's mold?!