‘No Motorcycles’
Season 6, Episode 16 - Aired April 3, 2005
When Francis comes home for his twenty-first birthday, he is excited about a promise Hal once made that they would ride motorcycles together. Meanwhile, Malcolm, Reese and Dewey are stuck in their room as a bully waits for them outside.
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: No, I'm not giving up. I don't give up. I'm not a quitter. If I have a problem, I think and work and keep working on it until I solve it.
Dewey: Okay, name one time that's ever worked out for you.
Malcolm: Well...
Dewey: Did it work five years ago when your hamster died, and you spent so many hours giving it CPR that the doctors had to put a shunt in your mouth to help the sores drain?
Reese: Did it work with that girl you kept hounding because you thought she was so close to liking you until she finally maced you?
Malcolm: No, but I could... I could...
Reese: Malcolm, think about it.
Malcolm: You're right. I really have to go out there. I appreciate you guys looking out for me.
[When Malcolm opens his bedroom door, a large burly boy is stood in the corridor, his head partially out of the frame.]
Reese: We didn't think you'd be so easy to convince.
Randy: No, not him. Where's the red-haired brother?
Malcolm: There is no red-haired brother. This is it.
Randy: Shoot. I have the wrong house. Where's that house with the assbag who works with handicapped kids?
Malcolm: Oh, that's Eddie Jeffers. He lives on Comstock. [Randy groans] You guys got pounded, and I got off scot-free. Hah! Now whose philosophy looks stupid? [Dewey closes the door] You thought I couldn't come up with... Guys, wait. What if we do this tomorrow? You'll be rested. Take some time first.