Malcolm Quote #642
Quote from Malcolm in No Motorcycles
Malcolm: No, I'm not giving up. I don't give up. I'm not a quitter. If I have a problem, I think and work and keep working on it until I solve it.
Dewey: Okay, name one time that's ever worked out for you.
Malcolm: Well...
Dewey: Did it work five years ago when your hamster died, and you spent so many hours giving it CPR that the doctors had to put a shunt in your mouth to help the sores drain?
Reese: Did it work with that girl you kept hounding because you thought she was so close to liking you until she finally maced you?
Malcolm: No, but I could... I could...
Reese: Malcolm, think about it.
Malcolm: You're right. I really have to go out there. I appreciate you guys looking out for me.
[When Malcolm opens his bedroom door, a large burly boy is stood in the corridor, his head partially out of the frame.]
Reese: We didn't think you'd be so easy to convince.
Randy: No, not him. Where's the red-haired brother?
Malcolm: There is no red-haired brother. This is it.
Randy: Shoot. I have the wrong house. Where's that house with the assbag who works with handicapped kids?
Malcolm: Oh, that's Eddie Jeffers. He lives on Comstock. [Randy groans] You guys got pounded, and I got off scot-free. Hah! Now whose philosophy looks stupid? [Dewey closes the door] You thought I couldn't come up with... Guys, wait. What if we do this tomorrow? You'll be rested. Take some time first.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘No Motorcycles’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Hal: Hey, remember before he was born and I had that Harley Da-?
Lois: No motorcycles ever! You do not talk about motorcycles. You do not think, you do not wish, you do not even reminisce about those stupid, idiotic death traps. They do not exist. Motorcycles do not exist! Say it!
Hal: Motorcycles do not exist.
Lois: What does not exist?
Hal: I don't know.
Lois: Good!
Quote from Lois
Piama: Oh, look at this. You got Francis a watch. That was so nice of you. [smashes watch]
Lois: This is a rare promotional Doobie Brothers EP. Oh. Hal almost cried when he found this at a yard sale. [snaps record in half]
Piama: It still doesn't seem like enough.
Lois: Oh, honey, this is just how we get the creative juices flowing. It's tough. You have to make your husband miserable, but I have to make mine miserable and make it a warning to the other three boys in the house.
Piama: Do men ever think about what's gonna happen when they do these stupid things?
Lois: No, that's what's weird about men, they never do. I guarantee you those two won't even think about the consequences of their actions until five minutes before they come home.
Piama: So no matter how low I set the bar, he'll still find a way to crawl under it?
Lois: You still think there's a bar. That's so cute.
Quote from Lois
Piama: "Oh, I'm really looking forward to dinner." What a jerk.
Lois: I don't know what I'm gonna end up doing to him. All I know is every stroke of this brush strengthens my killing arm.
Piama: Do you have another bucket? I can get started on the tracks in the living room.
Lois: Oh, I'll just end up redoing them all myself anyway. Why don't you just watch some TV? Then you'll be out of the way.
Piama: Lois! No one is as useless as you think I am! My focus should be on hating my husband and planning revenge, not worrying about whether I belong here.
Lois: You are absolutely right. I'm sorry. You deserve better.
Piama: Thank you. I appreciate that. So now what?
Lois: Well, I don't know. We're kind of in uncharted waters here. Drink?
Piama: Absolutely.