‘Malcolm's Job’
Season 5, Episode 6 - Aired December 7, 2003
When Lois forces Malcolm and Reese to get jobs, Malcolm goes to work with her at the Lucky Aide. Dewey turns to Francis after he tires of the way Malcolm and Reese treat him. Meanwhile, Hal and the other fathers in the baby group start betting on their kids.
Quote from Hal
Charlie: Man, I'm so bored I can feel my own hair growing.
Hal: Maybe I should wait a couple years to bond with Jamie. It's got to be easier when he can do more than just burble and sit up.
Charlie: Your baby can sit up? For how long?
Hal: I don't know. Ten seconds?
Charlie: My baby can sit up for 20.
Nate: Jasmine can do it for 30.
Hal: Oh, yeah?
Quote from Malcolm
Mr. Young: Hello, I'm Dale Young, district supervisor. Now, we're going to have a lot of Lucky Aide fun today, but there's also a lot for our new trainees to learn. Not to mention our employees who need a little refresher. What is this, Feldspar, the fifth time?
Craig: We can call it that. [whispers to Malcolm] You leave the store unlocked one night, it's like the sky fell in.
Mr. Young: Mr. Feldspar, I'm sure you don't want to get your fellow trainee in trouble. You must be Malcolm, Lois' boy. Hey, tell me, is Beans as much fun at home as she is at work?
Malcolm: Who?
Mr. Young: Hey, Dave, can you picture Beans having kids? [guys laugh]
Malcolm: [to camera] Beans?
Quote from Malcolm
Mr. Young: Now, we're gonna start with a little instructional video, and then I hope everyone has their role-playing hats on.
Announcer: [v.o. on tape] Lucky Aide It's another word for "family," and like family, we all pull in the same direction, toward the same goal, from the lowliest stock boy... [shot of Craig with a mullet] to the district managers... all the way up to the president.
Malcolm: Was that...? [Craig lowers his head]
Announcer: [v.o. on tape] We're proud of our 95% employee retention rate. You may think you're just starting a job, but when you join the Lucky Aide family, you're here for life.
Quote from Lois
Lois: Mr. Young said you did great in training.
Malcolm: Well, what can I say, Beans? Oh, I'm sorry, Beans. Did I say something wrong, Beans?
Lois: Now, I went to a lot of trouble to make sure you could work with Albert. He really knows what he's doing. You're gonna learn a lot from him. Hey, Albert. This is my son, Malcolm.
Albert: Nah, that can't be your son. He ain't beautiful enough. [Lois giggles]
Malcolm: [to camera] Did she just giggle?