Dr. Kennedy: There was a lot of damage done to that car.
Malcolm: Somebody else must have driven it because it wasn't us.
Dr. Kennedy: OK, let's back up. Let's talk about the home.
Reese: It's a dump. There's a leak in the roof right above my bed.
Dr. Kennedy: No, I'd like to know about your family life.
Malcolm: Look, don't analyse us. You can poke and prod and delve all you want, but you're not gonna find any psychological issues, okay? We're normal.

Malcolm: Our only problem is our parents think we're lying and we're not. Hey, a breakthrough.
Dr. Kennedy: You're obviously a very bright young man. Would you like to spend the hour telling me how bright you are? [Malcolm rolls his eyes]

Dr. Kennedy: You kids really have a lot of issues with your parents. Do you ever discuss any of this with them? [the boys look at each other] You never tell your parents your feelings?
Reese: We try. Two weeks ago, I put some newspapers in the blender and set it on fire. That was totally a cry for help.

Dr. Kennedy: Here's what you boys need to know. You cannot break me. I've worked in prisons! I had a 17-year-old serial killer hugging my knees and crying like a little girl. Those aren't Fisher Price diplomas, I went to Harvard. I had a starring role in The Mikado!
Dewey: My arms are tired.
Malcolm: Don't give him the satisfaction, Dewey.
Reese: This is nothing. Mom makes us do this out in the rain.
Dr. Kennedy: OK, you can relax. [sighs] Okay, let's try this. If you could pick one thing about the way your parents treat you, what would you change?
Malcolm: The biggest problem is that they don't trust us.
Reese: They just assume that if they leave us alone for two seconds, we'll get in trouble.

Dr. Kennedy: I mean, it's pretty obvious that you're the ringleader.
Malcolm: What?
Dr. Kennedy: It happens all the time. An intelligent, sensitive kid with poor impulse control. I mean, you're surrounded by people who don't challenge you mentally. So you start to get bored and you start looking for trouble.
Malcolm: No, I don't!
Dr. Kennedy: Isn't that what happened the other night? You were sitting on the couch with your brothers, nothing to do but watch TV, thinking the only way to end the crushing boredom was to stir up a little excitement?
Dewey: He didn't do it!
Reese: None of us did!
Dr. Kennedy: You know, there's a lot of options for a boy like you. There's placement program, camps, special schools-
Malcolm: Wait. You wanna send me away?
Reese: You can't do that!
Dewey: He's our brother!
Dr. Kennedy: Calm down. I merely suggested-
Malcolm: I'm not going!
Reese: You can't make him do this!
Dewey: We're good kids!

Malcolm: Don't do this!
Dewey: You can't leave me alone with Reese!
Dr. Kennedy: I'm sorry, but we're out of time.
[When Dr. Kennedy opens the door, Hal is kneeling down on floor]
Hal: What is the deal with this door? Is there some kind of baffling built into it?

Hal: What?! That's my car! I know I set the brake.
Malcolm: See, just like the other night. We didn't take it out. It just rolled out by itself!
Hal: You boys were actually telling us the truth? [to Dr. Kennedy] You're a genius! Boys, let's go get you some ice cream, huh?
Dr. Kennedy: Listen, there's a lot we haven't-
Hal: Oh, absolutely! You know, Doc, I have no idea how you did it. In just an hour! I'm putting in a little extra for ya.
Dr. Kennedy: But-
Hal: Thanks. Oh, isn't it great to feel like a family again? Cheers!