Jess: I just haven't had sex with anyone but Spencer in six years, and I get so nervous. It's like starting a new job with a really weird interview.
Paul: Don't worry about it. I'm good. I'm more than good. It's okay.
Jess: You know what? Tomorrow night. Let's just go out to dinner and then just nail each other. Just pound each other. V-bomb on the P-bomb. [makes explosion noise]
Paul: I would have the... P-bomb, right?

Jess: Welcome to our home.
Paul: Thank you. Hey.
Jess: [sings] It ain't so quirky to eat a lot of turkey On this Thanksgiving Day-ay-ay.
Paul: My belly's wanting something A pie made out of pumpkin In every gobble-gobble way-ay-ay. [both snicker; talks] I didn't know you were going back to back. Happy Thanksgiving.
Nick: Oh, my God, there's two of them.

Jess: Los Angeles! [shoes squeaking] We are sluts and we are clowns! But we are not losers!
Cece: We are not losers!
Paul: Yes! No, we're adventurers!
Winston: Shame, shame, I know your name.
Paul: Ah... yo, Nicholas!
Nick: Hey, Genzlinger! I miss you, man! Great shoes!
Paul: Guess what, guys, I'm still here. Take that, Lyme's disease!