Barney: So, when she said she thinks she's in love with me, she meant the opposite.
Lily: Exactly. And look how well it worked. You're back to normal.
Barney: Yes. Yes, I am. And it is great. It's awesome. So, Robin's not in love with me.
Lily: Nope.
Barney: [whiny] Why not?

Lily: Marshall, can you just go get Ted?
Marshall: Lily, I was just about to jump. Didn't you hear me saying "Okay" over and over again?
Lily: Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead and jump.
Marshall: No, it's fine. Sorry, everybody. Lily won't let me jump. [crowd groans] Thank God.

Lily: So, what happened exactly?
Ted: What happened is you let a freaking wild animal into our apartment. I was savaged.
Lily: That is the sweetest, cutest little goat in the whole world.
Ted: Sweetest, cutest little goat in the whole world?
Future Ted: [v.o.] I was pretty sleep-deprived at this point, so this probably isn't how it really happened, but here's how I rember it.
[fantasy scene of Ted wrestling the goat]
Nurse: So, you're the guy who tried to make it with a goat?
Ted: Hey, if anything, that goat tried to make it with me. Can I go, please?
Nurse: Sure, you can go. But remember, buddy, "baa" means "baa."

Barney: Why are you so afraid of giving this a chance?
Robin: Because I am scared of how much I like you.
Barney: Whoa, this is a bad idea.
Robin: You're right. This is a mistake.
Barney: Yes. No.
Robin: I love you.
Barney: Let's be friends.
Robin: Okay, friends, then.
Barney: I love you.
Robin: Let's get married.
Barney: No, you're smothering me.
Robin: Okay, forget it.
Barney: Gah!
Robin: Gah!
[Barney and Robin kiss]

Future Ted: [v.o.] It had been a long and crazy night, but that morning, against all odds, I made it to my presentation.
Ted: Here you have it, gentlemen. Rib Town. Right? Right?
Cowboy #1: Yeah. Ted, listen. You're great, and you've done a real... special job here, and you're going to make some other restaurant very happy someday, but... we have... decided to go... another direction here.
Ted: What?
Cowboy #2: Feast your eyes on... Rib Town!
[They unveil a dinosaur-shaped structure like the propose GNB headquarters]
Ted: Sven!

Marshall: I'll tell you one thing. I'm never eating ribs again.
Barney: [scoffs] Yeah, right.
Marshall: I am never... eating ribs... again! In front of Ted!

Marshall: I did it!
Lily: Baby, you did it.
Marshall: I can do anything!
Lily: Yes, you can.
Marshall: I'm getting a motorcycle!
Lily: You absolutely are not!

Future Ted: [v.o.] That was the year I got left at the altar. It was the year I got knocked out by a crazy bartender. The year I got fired. The year I got beat up by a goat. A girl goat, at that. And damn it if it wasn't the best year of my life. Because, if any one of those things hadn't happened, I never would have ended up in what turned out to be the best job I ever had. But more importantly, I wouldn't have met your mother, because, as you know... she was in that class. Of course, that story is only just beginning.

Marshall: But don't worry. 'Cause if I can make this jump tonight, it's totally gonna save the party.
Lily: Honey, please get down from there.
Marshall: Lily! When Evel Knievel sat astride his star-spangled rocket on the rim of Snake River Canyon, do you think his wife said, "Honey, get down from there"?
Lily: For the last time, I am not Linda Knievel! I will never be Linda Knievel!
Marshall: You don't need to remind me.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Every architect can point to that one design that changed their career. For me, it was around the time of my 31st birthday. It wasn't a museum or a concert hall or a skyscraper. It was something else.
[flashback to Ted meeting the two cowboys:]
Cowboy #1: We're opening a restaurant called Rib Town, and we want it to be shaped...
[present: the gang at MacLaren's:]
Ted: Like a cowboy hat. Look, I need the work. I don't have any other options.
Robin: Well, there's always that teaching job.
Ted: Yeah, I didn't work this hard to be stuck in some crappy, dead-end teaching job. No offense, Lily.
Lily: I got peed on three times today. No arguments here.