‘Rabbit or Duck’
Season 5, Episode 15 - Aired February 8, 2010
After a stunt at the Super Bowl, Barney has a cell phone that won't stop ringing with calls from eligible women. Ted decides to forgo the dating scene and ask Lily and Marshall to set him up. Meanwhile, Don invites Robin to a party, which she suspects is actually a date.
Quote from Barney
Ted: Well, hello. [phone rings] Sorry, babe. I gotta take this. Barney's phone. Teddy West Side speaking.
Barney: This is my phone! I'm taking it back! And I'm taking your cool nickname, too. Barney West Side speaking.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Being single sucks. Turns you into a crazy person.
Robin: I know. So much running around and freaking out, and for what?
Ted: It's all so you can find someone you can sit on a couch and put off cleaning the bathroom with.
Robin: Well, the joke's on the rest of the world because we can do that on our own.
Ted: Exactly.
Robin: Exactly.
Quote from Robin
Don: Robin, I have to apologize.
Robin: Save it. Let's just do the news.
Don: No, listen. After you left the other night, I was embarrassed. Not because I was naked. I'm actually pretty okay with my body.
Robin: Clearly.
Don: I got married in college. I just got divorced three months ago. I have no idea how to be single. But that's not why I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed about my behavior right here, at Channel... It starts with a one.
Robin: Twelve.
Don: Twelve.
Robin: I mean, just look at your mug.
Don: Right. Well, no, you look at this mug. You are a tremendous news anchor. And you deserve a co-anchor who gives a crap. And from here on out, that's gonna be me.
Robin: Well, I'll believe that when I see it.
Don: Well, you'll see it right now. I'll go get you some coffee.
Ron: Don. You're wearing pants.
Don: Well, look at that. [Robin imagines Don with a duck's beak]
Robin: Aw, duck.