Ted Quote #532

Quote from Ted in The Fight

Doug: Okay, you know what, maybe it was just me. Actually, you know what, that makes a lot of sense. I tend to black out a lot. Anyway, look, I always got your back. All I ask in return is that you got mine. But you know what? You don't. You can't be counted on. No wonder your fiance left you.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And here it is, kids, the only fight I've ever been in. So what can I share about the experience?
Well, for starters, when you punch someone in the face, it hurts your hand. A lot. But what hurts even more than that? This. And the next thing I remember was waking up.
Barney: [returns] Okay, I'm all warmed up. Let's do this thing.
Ted: Turns out getting in a fight was a terrible idea.


 ‘The Fight’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: Okay. We have to start going someplace else. At this bar, I'm always going to be the guy who got left at the altar.
Marshall: This sucks.
Barney: Good Times.
Ted: Uh-oh. We lost Barney.
Robin: What do you mean?
Lily: There's a girl over there in a tight red sweater. So he's not listening to a word anyone's saying. Right, Barney?
Barney: Give Me a Break!
Ted: See, he figured out a while back he could fake an entire conversation just by saying titles of Black sitcoms from the '70s and '80s.
Barney: What's Happening?
Lily: Hey, Barney, want to go upstairs and do stuff to me that I won't even let Marshall do?
Barney: Ha. Diff'rent Strokes.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Dude, fighting is for losers. We're civilized guys. Civilized guys don't fight. Unless it's with lightsabers. But that's like three to five years away, so...
Robin: Well, that's not true.
Marshall: Robin, I'm on the forums every day. Three to five Thanksgivings from now, I'm going to be carving
the turkey with Old Green.

Quote from Marshall

[Thanksgiving day, three to five years later:]
Marshall: It is so good to be home. Mom, Lily, fantastic job. "Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat." Right? Okay, here we go. Goggles on. [Marshall powers up a lightsaber] All right, so, you guys pass the plates. Lily, you want white or dark meat?
Lily: Dark! Honey, please be careful.