Doug: Okay, you know what, maybe it was just me. Actually, you know what, that makes a lot of sense. I tend to black out a lot. Anyway, look, I always got your back. All I ask in return is that you got mine. But you know what? You don't. You can't be counted on. No wonder your fiance left you.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And here it is, kids, the only fight I've ever been in. So what can I share about the experience?
Well, for starters, when you punch someone in the face, it hurts your hand. A lot. But what hurts even more than that? This. And the next thing I remember was waking up.
Barney: [returns] Okay, I'm all warmed up. Let's do this thing.
Ted: Turns out getting in a fight was a terrible idea.