Ted Quote #104
Quote from Ted in Mary the Paralegal
Future Ted: [v.o.] Sandy Rivers was the face of Metro News One, the most low-budget cable news network ever.
[flashback:]
Ted: Sandy time. Sandy time!
Ted from 2030: He was best known for his morning segment "In Today's Paper," during which he literally flipped through today's papers, reading them aloud to viewers.
Sandy: Here we have, on the front page, a story about a... I guess, a guy in a superhero costume climbing the Empire State Building. Looks interesting.
Ted from 2030: These idiotic filler pieces were a guilty pleasure of ours.
Ted: Which Sandy do we want today? French Sandy, porn star Sandy...?
Marshall: Yosemite Sandy, definitely.
Ted: Excellent choice. I love this guy.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Mary the Paralegal’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: I haven't seen her in three weeks. She won't return my calls. Look, I shouldn't go.
Marshall: You should definitely go. Look, it's a chance to show her you're still friends and that you support her.
Barney: Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better, triple threat: hotter and bigger boobs.
Ted: That's only two.
Barney: Count again.
Quote from Lily
Robin: You okay?
Lily: Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm just exhausted from work. The stupid school board took away nap time in all kindergarten classes and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day. It's much harder to deal with because, well, I don't get my nap.
Robin: Wait, you were taking naps when the kids were? Is that safe?
Lily: Well, they're only five. What are they gonna do to me?
Quote from Ted
Ted: Well, it's getting late. I should get back to my room.
Barney: Your room?
Ted: Yeah, that really expensive hotel room you put on your credit card-- never checked out. By the way, you know what's super fun? Pouring Dom Perignon down a bathtub drain. Well, it's almost 3:00. Got a massage. Toodles. [exits]
Marshall: Come on, if you don't laugh, it just seems mean.