Ted Quote #790
Quote from Ted in Home Wreckers
Ted: Hi.
Virginia Mosby: Ted, what are you doing here?
Ted: I never got to give you guys your toast. I was selfish, and I freaked out, and I'm so sorry. So here it is. [clears throat] How about a hand for the DJ? Gesture to D... I'll skip down. Mom, I love you. And I've never seen you as happy as you are with Clint. And, Clint, welcome to the family. What you two have is what I one day hope to find. But until then, cheers to you both. I love you guys.
Virginia Mosby: Ted. I am so... baked right now. I'm only 60% sure you're actually standing in front of me. But if you are, I love you. And you are the best son a mother could ever have.
Future Ted: [v.o.] There was no logical reason why my mother should be with a guy like that. And yet, as you kids know, being with your Grandpa Clint was the best decision your grandma ever made. Sometimes, our best decisions are the ones that don't make any sense at all.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Home Wreckers’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Inspector: All right, good news. I think we'll be out of here early.
Ted: Really?
Inspector: Yep. I finished downstairs and the outside. Now, I could keep looking and see what else I can find, besides the black mold, the damaged retaining wall, the frayed electrical wires, the lead paint, the water damage, the fire damage, the sun damage, the broken furnace, the rotted floorboards... Hey, look at that, no termites.
Ted: Ooh.
Inspector: The cracked chimney, the bats, the rats, the spiders, the raccoons, the hobo, the detached gutter, the outdated fuse box and the paint job in the kitchen, which is fine, but the trim really clashes with the countertops. Or I could just recommend that you do not buy this godforsaken Guantanamo Bay of a house, and suggest that we all get our asses out of here before a medium-sized wind blows the whole sumbitch down.
Ted: What if... What if I already bought the sumbitch?
Inspector: Well, I will check out the upstairs. [laughs]
Quote from Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, everyone has one or two moments when they make a huge, crazy decision that changes their lives forever. This is the story of mine. It all started with a visit from my mom and her long-time boyfriend, Clint, who was always saying stuff like...
Clint: Ted, your mother is a very, very erotic woman.
Ted: Please don't.
Clint: As a painter/songwriter/volunteer fear fighter, I find her incredibly sexual. But you have your own sexual memories with your mom, don't you?
Ted: Please don't.
Clint: Exiting her womb. Receiving her milk. You get me? Good.
Quote from Future Ted
Ted: Can I show you some of the ideas I have?
Marshall: Yeah.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And kids, Marshall was right. I didn't give up on my dream house. Because that's the thing
about stupid decisions. We all make them. But time is funny. And sometimes a little magical. It can take a stupid decision and turn it into something else entirely. Because, kids, as you know, that house is this house.