Barney Quote #600
Quote from Barney in The Bracket
Barney: Alan Alda. It was Alan Alda.
Lily: You never gonna believe what just happened.
[flashback to two minutes earlier:]
Barney: Who was that, um, guy from M*A*S*H? The main guy. What... Hawkeye from M*A*S*H. How can I be blanking on this?
Lily: Alan Alda?
Barney: No.
[Barney stands up and goes away. A woman approaches Lily.]
Woman: Hey, a word of advice? That guy you were talking to, Barney Stinson... I know he seems charming, but he's just saying whatever it takes to get in your pants. Sleeping with Barney was the biggest mistake of my life.
[present:]
Barney: Oh, my God. Where is she?
Lily: Oh, she must have left. She...
Barney: Well, she-she said I hooked up with her? What was her name? What did she look like?
Lily: She didn't say her name, but she had blonde hair, boobs. Kind of trashy.
Barney: Dead in the eyes with an aura of self-loathing and despair?
Lily: Yes!
Barney: That's all of them. Okay. Stay calm. Let's think this through. One of the girls who I lied to, seduced and abandoned is trying to ruin my life. Shouldn't be too hard to figure out which one it is. [starts working through all the women he's dated] Oh, dear God!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Bracket’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
[As Barney sits at his table and updates his blog, the "Doogie Howser" theme plays:]
Barney: [types] "March 21, 2008. Barney's Blog. Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another. Even though I didn't find the mystery girl... I did find out something very important about myself..."
Woman: Barney, come back to bed. You have a shuttle launch tomorrow. And that asteroid that's headed for Manhattan, It's not gonna destroy itself.
Barney: [types] "I'm awesome..."
Quote from Barney
Barney: Anna, hi.
Anna: Look who it is, Mr. Big Shot Architect. If you're here to ask me to take down the website, forget it.
Barney: What website?
Anna: TedMosbyIsAJerk.com.
Barney: You're right, I do deserve that. That's all I came here to say. You know what? I don't care who knows about it. Excuse me. Excuse me. I, Ted Mosby, am a jerk to women. Tell your sisters. Tell your daughters to stay away! TedMosbyIsAJerk.com.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that little Web site went on to get 400,000 hits. Thanks, Barney!
Quote from Barney
Lily: You okay, Barney?
Barney: Something strange is going on. I was down at the hardware store trying to get a little somethin' somethin'.
Robin: Wait. You go to the hardware store to pick up girls?
Barney: There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves.
Robin: Of course there are.
Barney: Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.
Lily: You could not be more evil.
Barney: Sorry. Five. Recently widowed.