Barney Quote #593

Quote from Barney in The Bracket

Lily: You okay, Barney?
Barney: Something strange is going on. I was down at the hardware store trying to get a little somethin' somethin'.
Robin: Wait. You go to the hardware store to pick up girls?
Barney: There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves.
Robin: Of course there are.
Barney: Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.
Lily: You could not be more evil.
Barney: Sorry. Five. Recently widowed.

Rate

 ‘The Bracket’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

[As Barney sits at his table and updates his blog, the "Doogie Howser" theme plays:]
Barney: [types] "March 21, 2008. Barney's Blog. Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another. Even though I didn't find the mystery girl... I did find out something very important about myself..."
Woman: Barney, come back to bed. You have a shuttle launch tomorrow. And that asteroid that's headed for Manhattan, It's not gonna destroy itself.
Barney: [types] "I'm awesome..."

Quote from Barney

Barney: Anna, hi.
Anna: Look who it is, Mr. Big Shot Architect. If you're here to ask me to take down the website, forget it.
Barney: What website?
Anna: TedMosbyIsAJerk.com.
Barney: You're right, I do deserve that. That's all I came here to say. You know what? I don't care who knows about it. Excuse me. Excuse me. I, Ted Mosby, am a jerk to women. Tell your sisters. Tell your daughters to stay away! TedMosbyIsAJerk.com.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that little Web site went on to get 400,000 hits. Thanks, Barney!

Quote from Barney

Barney: Weird, right? Yeah. The same thing happened last week at the museum.
Lily: [raises hand] Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Barney: Lily.
Lily: You pretend to be a struggling young artist who needs a new muse.
Barney: [raises hand] No. Marshall.
Marshall: You're a millionaire art thief casing the joint for a thrill money can no longer give you!
Barney: No. Robin.
Robin: You're going blind, and you're trying to soak up all the beauty in the world before the darkness descends.
Barney: Bingo! So, I was talking to this girl...