‘Field Trip’
Season 7, Episode 5 - Aired October 10, 2011
Robin's therapist, Kevin, doesn't want to see her as a patient anymore. Marshall is outraged when his new boss takes a lowball settlement with a billion dollar company. Meanwhile, Ted takes his architecture class on a field trip.
Quote from Ted
Barney: So you're the therapist. You know, it's one thing to pretend to be a shrink and bang your patients. That's normal. But to do it for real? A little creepy, bro.
Robin: Okay, it's not creepy.
Ted & Barney: Ehhhh... it's creepy.
Ted: Class, show of hands: Who thinks it's creepy to date your therapist?
Barney: Pollstered.
Robin: Get out!
Ted: All right. We're moving on!
Quote from Barney
Robin: Ugh, this day sucks. Kevin and I are kaputski.
Marshall: You think that's bad? The world is coming to an end.
Barney: You think that's bad? My girlfriend is 37!
Quote from Ted
Ted: Hey, class, quick question. Uh, is anyone here thinking of becoming an architect? [one hand goes up] Really?
Will: Yeah, dude. I mean, all jobs suck, but it's 4:00 in the afternoon, and you're out at a bar with your friends, so the hours can't be that bad. So... yeah, I don't know, I'd think about it.
Ted: I got through to you. Oh!
Will: I mean, that is, if becoming a deejay doesn't pan out.
Ted: You are gonna be a great architect.
Future Ted: [v.o.] He became a deejay.
Quote from Robin
Kevin: Robin, what are you doing here? I told you I can't be your therapist.
Robin: I know. Today, I am your therapist.
Kevin: What?
Robin: You said yourself, I'm always looking for reasons not to be happy. Well, I'm trying to change that. So, if the only reason we can't be together is because I was in a vulnerable place for the first two hours we knew each other then that is two hours of vulnerability you owe me. Sit down.
Kevin: Okay. Okay, but I must warn you, as a professional, I'm immune to...
Robin: Tell me about your mother.
Kevin: Everything she says is a manipulation! When I was seven years old...
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Mr. Cootes.
Garrison Cootes: Hey.
Marshall: Listen, I've been thinking a lot about what you said yesterday, about how we're all gonna die.
Garrison Cootes: Oh, I'm not gonna die. I bought an old mine shaft in Colorado. I've spent the last six months filling it with canned goods, assault rifles and all five seasons of Friday Night Lights.
Marshall: Okay, first of all, you can skip season two. Second of all, after our talk... I came pretty close to giving up myself. But then I went to the doctor with my wife... and I saw this.
Garrison Cootes: Boy or girl?
Marshall: I don't know. But I know I sure as hell can't give up now. So, if you're just looking for someone to hold the other end of the limbo stick, you got the wrong guy for the job, and you know why?
Garrison Cootes: 'Cause you're three feet taller than everyone in this office?
Marshall: No. Because if I am gonna work here, then first thing tomorrow morning, I'm walking down to Gruber Pharmaceuticals, and I'm rejecting their offer. Even if I have to do it myself.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Listen, I want you to know... I know.
Nora: Know what?
Barney: Nora.
Nora: Barney.
Barney: Nora.
Nora: Just say what you're gonna say!
Barney: I know you're old! And I've been struggling with it, but when I look at you... I don't care, because I really like you. And because for 37, you are keeping it toit!
Nora: You think I'm 37?
Barney: Well, if you were really 29, then you would have been a little kid the first time you saw the Ewoks and you would have loved them.
Nora: Barney, I didn't see any of the Star Wars movies until last year.
Barney: You... You're 29! You still have one good year left.
Nora: What?
Barney: Nothing.
Quote from Robin
Kevin: But Naveen's the neurosurgeon, so of course he gets all the attention! Oh, Naveen is so smart, he operates on people's brains! Well, guess what, Mom?! I treat the human mind!
Robin: Our time is up.
Kevin: [sighs]
Robin: I don't think this is gonna work.
Kevin: I scared you off, didn't I?
Robin: No, I mean, I don't think I can be your therapist. You're really cute.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Hey, you know what was on last night? Stand and Deliver. So good. Whatever happened to Jacob James Olmos?
Ted: Who?
Barney: Jacob James Olmos. Whatever happened to that guy?
Ted: He never existed. It's Edward James Olmos.
Barney: You're Olmos correct. It's Jacob James Olmos.
Ted: It's Edward James Olmos.
Barney: Jacob James Olmos.
Ted: Edward James Olmos.
Barney: You're joking, right...?
Ted: Are you serious...?
Barney: Seriously. Jacob James Olmos.