Jill: You know, this stuff just... It happens. It just... It's okay. I just... I wish you hadn't done it on our anniversary.
Tim: I wish I hadn't done it at all. You know, because this is the woman I like spending time with, you know? Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you?
Jill: When was that?
Tim: I don't remember, I was hoping you did.
Jill: Oh, Tim.
Tim: I'm kidding. Nineteen years ago. Do you remember? The front porch of your parents' house. That summer place they had. Sitting out there, summertime. Your old man comes crashing out of that screen door with a saber. Chases me off the porch. What's the matter with him, anyway? I never thought I would see you again that night.
Jill: You just did it.
Tim: Now what did I do?
Jill: You just looked at me the way I wanted you to look at me last night.

Al: Auburn Hills, Michigan is hosting the Longhorn World Championship Rodeo this week.
Tim: All right. We called the little practice arena today. And we've got a championship roper today to show you some little tricks. Heidi, bring him on out. Where's the rest of you? They were gonna send us a real cowboy, weren't they?
Ty: I am a real cowboy, sir. My name is Ty Cisco. And I'm a junior champion team roper.
Al: Well, it's nice to meet you, champ.
Ty: It's great to be here, sir.
Al: You know, when I was your age, I could've been a cowboy. Golly gee! Riding the rodeo circuit. That must be an exciting life.
Ty: Yeah, it's pretty neat. But I also like school and messing around with my hunting dog, Wiley.
Tim: "My hunting dog, Wiley." Look, Billy Bob, you got me in a bind here, you know? I promised the audience some rodeo action. Can you do anything with that little jump rope of yours?
Ty: Yeah. I can show you a trick or two.
Tim: Okay, then.
Al: Yippi-ti-yi-yo!

Tim: Hey, buddy. How's it hanging?
Alex: I hope you're referring to my work light.
Tim: I am sorry. I thought you were a guy.
Alex: If I am, I have a lot of unnecessary cramps.
Tim: Yeah. I read about this place in Mustang Monthly, and I'm looking for Alex, the Saleen Mustang specialist.
Alex: I'm Alex, the Saleen Mustang specialist.
Tim: So, you'd be working on my kid's car?
Alex: Look, how I fix cars has nothing to do with the kind of underwear I wear, does it?
Tim: No! Of course not! Wouldn't matter if you didn't wear any underwear.

Tim: It's a beautiful Shelby.
Alex: Yup, '66 GT 350H.
Tim: They only made 1,500 of these.
Alex: Actually, a thousand. Nine hundred automatics and 100 four-speeds.
Tim: Quarter-mile time?
Alex: 15-point-two seconds at 92 miles per hour.
Tim: Pretty sweet deal considering the original purchase price was...
Alex: Thirty-five forty-seven. Are you done testing me?
Tim: Almost. Who was the last actor to join The Three Stooges?
Alex: Curly-Joe DeRita, but he's no Shemp.

Tim: How long have you been a mechanic?
Alex: [o.s.] Since I was two and I souped up my own stroller. [walks out] Okay. Ready.
Tim: Wow! Wow! Ooh. I mean, imagine that! You know? Souping up your own stroller!
Alex: Nice save. Let's go take a look at the car.

Tim: Now, eventually, Brad and I are gonna do some performance modifications, but right now I've got some problems with the transmission.
Alex: Like what?
Tim: Well, there's this grinding noise coming out of it, and I thought it was the shift fork. Turns out that's not what it is.
Alex: Maybe it's the syncros.
Tim: Yeah. How do you know so much about cars?
Alex: You grow up with four brothers, you pick up all kinds of guy stuff.
Tim: Four brothers? I have four brothers.
Alex: No way!
Tim: Yeah!
Alex: Yeah, mine taught me how to burp the alphabet.
Tim: [grunts] Oh, a woman of letters! [grunts]
Alex: Yeah, they taught me all about cars and tools. It was great. One summer they even got me a job as an arc welder.
Tim: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! A woman arc welder? Don't toy with me.

Alex: Hey, why don't you downshift, so I can hear that noise you're talking about?
Tim: Okay. That should be... There you go. Listen.
Alex: Yeah, it's the syncros. I have the same problem with my Fairlane Thunderbolt.
Tim: A Fairlane Thunderbolt with the big 427?
Alex: Yeah. And the glass hood scoop.
Tim: I gotta take a look at this car.
Alex: Tim, red light!
[As the car brakes to a halt, Tim holds his arm out across Alex's chest]
Tim: Ooh. That's a reflex from having three kids.
Alex: I'm not a kid.
Tim: I'm well aware of that.

Jill: Look, look. This is what I got Dad for our anniversary present.
Brad: You stole Grandma's watch?
Jill: Yes, Brad, I did. I mugged her outside the Social Security office.
[A bewildered Brad walks away]

Marty: He's working on the car again?
Jill: Yeah. He's been working with that mechanic every night this week.
Marty: Wow! He's usually so critical of his car guys. Alex has gotta be a hot mechanic.
Jill: Oh, yeah, yeah. He loves this one. I wouldn't be surprised if he spent the night at the garage.

Brad & Mark: Happy anniversary!
Jill: Oh, they are so beautiful. You guys... Wait, what do you want?
Brad: Simply that you keep that in mind the next time we screw up.
Jill: Okay.