Al: I made a promise before my dad died that I would take care of my mother. And I just... I can't turn my back on her.
Tim: Wait a minute. No one's asking you to do that. I think Ilene just wants to feel that she won't take a back seat to your mother. I mean, is she or is she not the most important woman in your life?
Al: She's the most important woman under 50.
Tim: You gotta do better than that, Al.
Al: I don't know if I can!
Tim: When you made that promise to your dad, don't you think he would've wanted you to fall in love and have a family?
Al: You're right.
Tim: I know I'm right. If your dad were here right now, what would he be saying?
Al: "Al, stay with Mother. I'm going to the track." I see your point. I think I have to set some limits with my mother.
Tim: Yes.
Al: And I'm gonna start by getting rid of this stupid beeper.

Mark: I can't believe we won the lighting contest.
Brad: And helped land a plane.
Randy: Well, this just proves one thing, guys. Dad's been holding us back all these years.

Tim: It's a power inverter. All these tools for the car - I love this. Thanks.
Jill: OK, my turn.
Tim: All right. You're gonna love it.
Jill: Undo this... all right. It's a beeper!
Tim: Well, I figured, you know, if any time I wanted to tell you I love you, I can just do it 24 hours a day now. [beeps]
Jill: Well, gee, Tim! I would love to tell you how touched I am, but I have to call Al's mother.