Tim: Listen, this is serious. NASA picked a Binford tool to go on the next mission. They need a payload specialist to operate it...
Jill: And they chose you?
Tim: Well, not yet. I'd have to go to Houston, take some physical and psychological exams. And should I beat out my competition, I train for six months and [whistles] get to go up there.
Jill: Is this for real?
Tim: This is for real.
Jill: What- What about the actual mission? How long do you have to be in space?
Tim: Five days, six if we get to blow up an asteroid or something cool like that.
Jill: Binford's OK with this?
Tim: They love this. It's a promotion for the tools. They think it's a great idea.
Jill: Tim, I don't know. This whole thing sounds kind of scary.
Tim: Well, um, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think they'd let me drive anything or...

Fred: Sometimes after an emergency bail-out, the parachute will keep dragging you. Now, the object of this exercise is to see how fast you can disengage from your chute. [Tim raises his hand] Yes?
Tim: It's a bit snug in the crotch area.
Fred: Further motivation for you to unhook quickly. And... go!
Tim: Oh, yeah! Oh, boy! Hello! Oh, boy! Oh, yeah! [groans] I believe you guys have got a couple of my personal items! Ouch!

Tim: Hey, Doc.
Dr. Lee: Hello.
Tim: Pretty cool stuff. We gonna play a video game?
Dr. Lee: Yes. It's called Space Probe. [snaps gloves]

Fred: This is to test how many Gs you can withstand. We'll start off with three Gs.
Tim: [yawns] This is great. Hey, how about some more power?
Fred: OK, eight Gs.
Tim: All right! Everything's spinning. Reminds me of when I was a kid. I love this! All right, what do we do next?
Fred: The group photo.
Tim: [garbled] Great.

Fred: In a few moments, we're gonna be sending you underwater in this airtight suit so you can simulate working with tools in space. Any problems with the suit?
Tim: No, sir. Not at all. I probably shouldn't have had that breakfast burrito. Whoo!

Randy: You have a million similar poses here. Why don't you throw some of these out?
Jill: Well, I can't. They're all just precious family heirlooms.
Randy: How about this one of you pregnant and bending over?
Jill: I wasn't pregnant. [rips up the photo]

Jill: Whoa! Look at you!
Randy: This girl must be something if she can make you look halfway normal.
Jill: From what Mark has said, she is adorable. Her name is...
Mark: Please, Mom. It's bad enough they know my name.

Brad: So what happened?
Tim: Well, we got our test results early. I wanted to share it with the family.
Jill: Oh, Tim. I'm sorry it didn't work out.
Tim: Au contraire. Binford's proud to present Tim "The Spaceman" Taylor. They picked me.

Jill: I can't believe you're going up in space.
Tim: That's what the other astronauts said. You all right with this?
Jill: Yeah. I'll be OK.
Tim: I'm gonna pay for this, aren't I?
Jill: Oh, yeah.

Jill: Thanks for breakfast. I gotta go to the library.
Tim: One more kielbasa left. You want it?
Jill: I eat one more sausage, I'm gonna explode.
Tim: Is that a yes or a no?