Tim: There she is. With this Studebaker by your side, you'll never be lonely.
Wilson: Yes. When we get it all fixed up, Willow and I can go on trips together.
Tim: Well, you could, but this particular model of Studebaker runs a lot better with just one person in it.
Wilson: You know, Tim, you and Jill have been acting strangely. Something very odd is going on around here.
Tim: You know, a lot of guys couldn't get away with that codpiece look. But on you? Fantastic.

Willow: Hi. How do you like my costume? Going as Mrs. Gutenberg.
Wilson: I've never seen a lovelier Bible printer's wife.
Willow: Uncle Wilson, what's wrong? Tim, did you say something to him?
Wilson: I didn't mean to.
Tim: He was... He was fiddling with his codpiece and it just popped out.

Willow: I'm sorry, Uncle Wilson. I, um... I don't know how to put this. There's this quote from Joseph Conrad.
Tim: The fat guy who played Cannon.
Willow: No, the novelist. He said, "We live as we dream alone."
Wilson: Yes. And as the French essayist Montaigne said, "In solitude alone can man know true freedom."
Tim: You know what's interesting? When you speak real slow like that, French sounds a lot like English.

Wilson: Willow, I'm sorry I smothered you. But I'm just kind of new at this family thing.
Willow: So am I. I'm just not used to this much attention.
Wilson: Willow, I'd like you to stay.
Willow: Maybe we should give this another chance.
Tim: And if, uh, you need any advice, I'm right over the fence.
Willow: Thanks. You know, Tim's a very wise man.
Wilson: [grunts] Oh, yes. I know.

Tim: Let's say you're working on your classic car in your own garage.
Al: You're all hot and sweaty and you need instant refreshment.
Sparky: What do you reach for?
All: Cheese!
Heidi: Oh, but not just any cheese!
All: Saginaw Cheese! Cheese, it's good!

Jill: Hey, Mark, will you pull down that shade. I don't want Wilson to know about the surprise party.
Tim: You won't believe who just RSVP'd. Albert Einsteirs nephew, Corky.
Mark: Corky Einstein?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Yeah. He and Wilson went to sleep-away camp together.

Tim: There's the Studebaker!
Jill: Hey. Will you not drool over the Studebaker and spend a couple minutes being polite to Wilson's niece?
Tim: All right, I'll wait.

Jill: Come on in. Meet the family. This is, uh...
Willow: No, wait. Let me guess. I'm picking up a vibe here. Brad, Randy, Mark. And judging by the scent of Pennzoil, you must be Tim.
Tim: It's 10-W30 all-weather.

Jill: Wilson's told us so much about you. He said that you were, what, a German Philosophy major.
Willow: Yes. It was a great stepping stone to the work I do now.
Mark: What do you do now?
Willow: Give massages.
Brad: Very cool. [phone rings]
Tim: I'll get it.
Randy: So what exactly is the connection between German Philosophy and massage?
Willow: Read a little Nietzsche and see how tense you get.

Tim: [on the phone] Hey, Wilson. Yeah. Could you help me with the hot rod? Well, the boys can't. They're being punished. So's Jill. Just take a minute. Please? OK, great.