Mark: Wilson's coming!
Jill: Willow, Willow, come! Um, hide out in the garage.
Willow: OK, OK.
Tim: Duck down in the car. When you pop up, don't block the view of the dashboard.

Wilson: Oh, Rolf. Thank you for taking time out from your psychiatry practice. Did you have a good time?
Rolf: I'm not sure. I'll go home and analyze myself and get back to you.

Willow: My mom and dad were hippies. They split up right after I was born. I lived with my mom in Berkeley and then with my dad in Kathmandu. I was moving all the time.
Jill: Yeah, I know what that's like. My dad was an Army colonel and we were always moving around to bases.
Willow: Probably some of the ones my mom tried to shut down.
Jill: Probably.

Tim: All right, guys. Finished with the dishes. Who wants to come stare at the Studebaker with me?
Brad: No, thanks.
Mark: Pass.
Randy: I think I'd rather do the dishes again.

Wilson: I've got tons of space. I could clear out my Tiki room.
Jill: The Tiki room. That is a great room. And the parrot that lives in there now just doesn't appreciate it.
Willow: I should warn you I'm not the easiest person to live with. I keep very odd hours and I'm a little eccentric.
Jill: So is the parrot.
Wilson: Well, I'd be willing if you would. What do you say?
Willow: Tell Polly to pack her bags!

Sparky: I mean, these aren't just vehicles, Al.
Tim: No.
Sparky: These are works of art. I mean, Tim, what would you rather own, a Buick or a Botticelli?
Tim: A Buick. It's hard to get Italian parts.
Sparky: You're right, Tim. You're right.

Mark: What smells?
Randy: It's Brad. What have you been doing, rolling around in carpet freshener?
Brad: It's my new scent: patchouli. I happen to know Willow likes it. I'm gonna ask her to go to the coffeehouse.
Mark: Better ask for a table outside.
Randy: So, what makes you think she's gonna want to go to a coffeehouse with you?
Brad: Because after a guy like Sergei, she's gonna want a man that makes her feel secure and centered.
Randy: Like a high school junior who reeks?
Brad: Maybe I should wash some of this stuff off. I'm starting to feel a little dizzy.

Tim: You know, there was a guy on Tool Time this morning that shares your point of view.
Jill: That all watermelons should be seedless?
Tim: No. That spending time with one's niece is as important as spending time with one's classic car.
Jill: Oh. Well, duh.

Tim: Hey, Wilson.
Willow: He's getting his costume for the Renaissance Faire we're going to tonight.
Tim: Hi, Willow. That sounds like fun.
Willow: Yeah. So did the Ethiopian puppet show and karaoke night at the VFW.
Tim: I've been to the VFW thing with him. Yeah. Nothing quite like two retired admirals singing Muskrat Love.
Willow: Well, maybe next time, you can go in my place. I'm, um, going back to Chicago tomorrow.
Tim: Oh. What's Wilson think about that?
Willow: He doesn't know yet. I figured I'd wait till after the Renaissance Faire to tell him. I'm afraid bad news might affect his jousting.

Tim: Hey, you're not gonna believe this. I'm evolved. And, um, Willow is gonna leave.
Jill: Oh, my God! She's leaving? Wilson is gonna be crushed.
Tim: I tried to talk her out of it. All she did was quote from In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.