Jill: Um, Tim, I've given it some serious thought...
Tim: OK.
Jill: ...and I really don't want the office.
Tim: [scoffs] Preconstruction jitters. Everyone gets them.
Jill: No, no, no, no, no. Life is really chaotic lately...
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: And one of the things I just learned in therapy is that I need to simplify. You see I take on way too much as a way of not dealing with my feelings, and this office is gonna be just way too much.
Tim: You asked me to do it. Why would you ask me to do it, unless you really wanted me to?
Jill: Because for a brief, fleeting instant, I thought it was a good idea, but then you starting bombarding me with decorating decisions and then the blueprints...
Tim: Ok, whoa, forget that. I'll make the decisions, think it over.
Jill: No, no, no. Tim. Tim, I have problems with this office on a deeper level.
Tim: Ahh, sub-flooring, huh?

Jill: I have to make dinner.
Tim: You have to make dinner? Where am I supposed to put all this stuff I just bought?
Jill: I can think of a real good place.

Doug: This fish is really good. It's not too fishy.
Tim: That's cause it's chicken, Doug.
Patty: Well, it's delicious. It's not too chickeny. Well, Jill, you didn't tell me, how was your first therapy session? [Tim groans]
Jill: Fine. Potatoes?
Patty: Well, how did you like Dr. Breen? Was he insightful?
Tim: Well, he certainly incited a number of things around here, I'll tell you that.

Randy: He slept down here all night?
Brad: Half the night. The other half he and Mom were yelling at each other.
Randy: She catch him making out with the drywall?
Brad: She told him he couldn't build the office in the attic.
Randy: My God, is he still breathing?
Brad: Yeah, but what's the point? His soul's been stripped away. But his beard sure is coming in nice.
Randy: Looks like he's got another one growing in his ears.

Mark: Are you almost done?
Jill: Oh, yeah. You're gonna have the snazziest-looking skulls in the seventh grade.
Mark: They're not supposed to be snazzy.
Jill: I was being facetious. I think they're hideous and completely twisted.
Mark: All right.

Tim: Honey, honey, honey. I figured something out you should know.
Jill: And what would that be?
Tim: I am like Jefferson. Tom, not George.
Jill: I'll need more.

Tim: When I'm working with tools I get a chance to think things out, sort through stuff.
Jill: What kind of stuff?
Tim: Stuff we're going through, maybe, or, like, the kids. Do you remember when, um, I... I blew up that water heater?
Jill: The first or the second time?
Tim: It would be the second time.
Jill: Oh.
Tim: Well, I, uh, I realized then that I wasn't as happy as I thought I'd be about Brad getting his license.
Jill: I thought you were thrilled about that.
Tim: Well, I was at first. But then when he got his license, he was driving and he was never home. I never saw him.
Jill: I didn't know you felt that way. Wow. OK. So you're saying that whenever you build something, or, uh, blow it up, it comes with an equally valuable insight.
Tim: Valuable on many levels. The first time I blew up that water heater... I realized that I could do this. [curls tongue]

Jill: I hate when we fight.
Tim: Oh, me, too. It's not just 'cause the couch is lumpy, either.
Jill: I couldn't stand it last night when I rolled over and you weren't there.
Tim: It could've been worse. I rolled over here and I landed on the nutcracker. That baby lives up to it's name, I'll tell you that.

Jill: What're you doing?
Brad: I'm at the dining room table, I'm dining.
Jill: Well, you know what, now it's sort of my office, so, would you just dine somewhere else?
Brad: All right. [knocks over a coffee mug]
Jill: Oh, my God! My paper!
Brad: I'm sorry. I'll clean it. [knocks over more papers] Or I could dine in my room.
Jill: I think that's a good idea.

Jill: I want an office.
Tim: Office.
Jill: A place where I can close the door...
Tim: Close the door.
Jill: ...and get away from everybody.
Tim: Get away.
Jill: Yeah. I was thinking that you could convert the...
Tim: Attic!
Jill: Right!