Doug: I've been picking up some tension. Everything all right?
Patty: Doug, I really don't think that's any of our business. Why don't we just change the subject?
Doug: Gotcha. So, Jill, I hear Tim's building you a great office up in the attic. [Tim laughs]
Jill: Lima beans?
Tim: Well, she asked me to build her an office, I did all the plans for her, bought all the materials, then she changed her mind.
Jill: Tim, we don't really have to discuss this in front of our guests.
Tim: Why not? You ashamed of your behavior? Afraid people might judge you?
Doug: Say, is that a beard you're growing?
Tim: Yes, it is, Doug. I promised pookie over there that I'd shave it off, but my life has become so chaotic, I... I might change my mind.

Jill: You're really not gonna let this go, are you?
Tim: You were really willing to let my drywall go, weren't you?
Jill: You are so unbelievable. Is that all you can talk about, your stupid drywall?
Tim: That's how she talks about drywall.
Jill: You are so self-absorbed.
Tim: I'm self-absorbed, Miss I-Pay-A-Guy- To-Hear-Me-Talk-About-Myself?

Jill: You know what, Tim, I don't have the time or the energy for this. If it's so important for you, build the damn office.
Tim: Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Well, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction.
Patty: So, how's Mark doing in Spanish?
Jill: Well, your needs are obviously so much more important than mine, if it makes you feel better, do it.
Tim: I wouldn't pick up a hammer if you got down on your hands and knees and begged me. I love construction, but "The Tool Man" draws a line at a mercy build.
Jill: I give up!
Doug: You know this chicken could be pork.
Patty: Mm-hm.

Jill: Well, Tim, I'm really glad you shared that with me. You know, just because my life is chaotic and confusing right now, you shouldn't have to suffer.
Tim: Would you please write that down?
Jill: I've been thinking. You know how you've always wanted to redo the garage? I think you should do that.
Tim: Are you toying with me? I can only take so much of this toying.
Jill: No, I'm not toying with you. This would be perfect because it's building for yourself.
Tim: All right.
Jill: And then someday, down the line, when things calm down, I'll let you build me the office of your dreams.
Tim: [grunts] Hey. The glow is starting to come back.

Jill: Tim, you promised me you'd help with dinner.
Tim: [o.s.] Just finished shaving, honey.
Jill: You did?
Tim: It took longer than I thought.
[Tim walks down wearing a baldcap]
Tim: I'm kidding.