Jill: Now, Tim, just think about this for a second. If we guess the surprise we will be depriving you of the thrill of surprising us, and you'll be depriving us of the joy of experiencing your surprise.
Tim: Profound, but not profound enough, vis-a-vis the quid pro quo.
All: "Quid pro quo?"

Randy: I'm going over to see Lauren.
Jill: No. I want you all unpacked before anyone goes anywhere.
Tim: And no one's gonna fight over the good bed.
Brad: What does it matter? I'm gonna cry into my pillow no matter where I sleep.
Tim: That's the spirit.

Lauren: I love being with you on the lake.
Randy: I love being with you anywhere.
[Mark makes a gagging gesture]
Diane: You're really different from your brothers. You're so...
Mark: Dark?
Diane: Yeah. I like dark.
Randy: How do you feel about "dork"?

Brad: You know, Jenny, I'm not just interested in looks. A girl's gotta have a personality. That's why Angela was so perfect.
Jenny: That's nice to hear. Again.
Brad: I'm sorry. I'll stop talking about her. And I don't know what's so great about Angela, anyway.
Jenny: As I recall, she was the blonde goddess who cleaned your room and worshiped the ground you walked on.
Brad: You're right. She was awesome.

Mark: We're really gonna move up here?
Tim: Yeah. Re-do the lodge, fix up the cabins. By this time next year, we'll be living up here. It'll be a whole new start for us.
Randy: Dad, I'm 15 years old. I haven't even finished up my old start.

Tim: I know what you're thinking. This is gonna be rough on the boys. You and I can get them over the hump.
Jill: Honey. Did it ever occur to you that we have this little thing back in Detroit called a life?
Tim: Yeah, that's moving too fast, you said it. The boys are way too competitive. Too much peer pressure.
Jill: I don't want to leave it all behind. What about my psychology degree? I'm supposed to get my Masters this year.
Tim: That's why we don't move till next year. I've done all the legwork, honey. There's plenty of nutcases up here you can shrink. Louie at the bait shop. Flonko.
Jill: What about Tool Time?
Tim: It's time for a change. You know, it'll be the best year ever. Then I'll just hand my tool belt down to Al. I'll have to add a few more notches.

Wilson: So, where is your splendiferous spouse?
Jill: I don't know where he is. Lately, I don't know who he is. Yesterday when we got up here, he announced that he wants us all to move here.
Wilson: Now that you mention it, he has been acting a bit odd lately. He told me the other he was considering becoming a part-time physicist.
Jill: Tim?
Wilson: Mm-hmm. Said he wants to contemplate the origins of the universe. Tuesdays, Thursdays and every other Friday.

Tim: I just know that there's a lot of things I want to do. If I don't start doing them now I'll never get them done.
Jill: You know, Tim, sometimes when a guy gets to be your age, he goes through this, um... mid-life crisis.
Tim: Stop. I'm not going through a mid-life crisis. If I was, I'd be driving a Porsche with a blonde named Chrissie. Which doesn't sound like a half-bad idea.
Jill: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you don't have to date Chrissie to go through this. There are other symptoms.
Tim: Like what?
Jill: Like wanting to give up Tool Time to become a physicist.
Tim: That's only part-time. You see how the boys are growing. You've got a new job. I'm just left in the dust, using foreign phrases ad nauseum.

Brad: Life sucks.
Jill: What's wrong?
Brad: Angela broke up with me.
Tim: I thought she was crazy about you.
Brad: She was. Now she's crazy about some guy with a brand-new Firebird.
Jill: Oh, Brad.
Tim: With a V-8?

Brad: Mom, I can't go on this trip. I'm too bummed out.
Tim: Come on, son. It'll do you no good to sit around here and mope.
Jill: Well, your dad's right.
Tim: Come up to the lake and mope. You'll have no time to mope. None of you guys will. Because I have a great, big surprise for all of you when we get up there. Guess what it is.
Brad: Seeing Angela up there is the only surprise that'll make me happy.
Tim: OK, hint number one. This surprise won't make Brad happy.