Jill: Woo! Let me see, what do I remember? Um... OK. [plays "Fur Elise" by Beethoven, off-key]
Tim: I wonder how long it would take to turn it back into an aquarium.

Brad: We spent the last two weeks restoring it in Wilson's garage.
Randy: Yeah. We would've had it done in a week except Dad kept on playing with the train.

Tim: You'll have to forgive Al. He's going through a little flannel withdrawal. Next week we're checking him in to the Betty Flannel Clinic, so... While Al's getting his point driver, I can welcome two new markets for us. Bottom's up, Milwaukee! And how's it hangin', Columbus? Uh... gosh! Al, hurry up. I'm beginning to feel like Garfield here.
Al: I got it! OK. I'm here. It's just you don't know what it's like being trapped in the wrong fabric.
Tim: All right, secure the points with the point driver.
Al: No problem.
Tim: All right. We'll glaze the window after...
Al: I left the points backstage.
Tim: I got some here. [lets go of the glass] [window smashes]

Jill: OK, I'm going to the library for a few hours. What are you guys gonna do today?
Randy: Nothing.
Mark: Nothing.
Brad: Nothing.
Tim: I'm supervising.
Jill: Well, don't overwork yourself.

Tim: Carrie, what'd you bring?
Carrie: Nothing.
Tim: You come to your sister's birthday party and you don't bring anything?
Carrie: Tim, I came straight from the airport. All I have are my peanuts from the plane.
Tim: I'll take 'em.
Al: Ooh, honey-roasted.
Tim: Back off, Al. Marty, put these in the salad. It'll be like a peanut pasta thing or something.

Jill: You see, when I was growing up we were always moving around. My parents used to just, you know, throw away all of our stuff. So I have nothing left of my past.
Tim: Sure you do. You have all those beautiful photo albums...
Jill: That's not enough! My cousin Henry has the piano. He says he'll give it to me. I've arranged for mover to meet me there. I'll be back in about three or four hours.
Tim: Three or four?
Jill: I'll see you later! [exits]
Tim: Three or four hours?!

Carrie: This is a disaster.
Tim: Now what?
Carrie: Oh, I just called my service and found out I have to fly to Norway immediately.
Tim: You're flying to Norway now?
Carrie: Yeah. I have to photograph a statue of King Olaf in the morning.
Tim: You can't leave Jill's party in the middle of it.
Nancy: The middle of the party? When was the beginning? [laughs]
Tim: [mock laughter]

Tim: Look, can't you be late a couple days? It's not like the statue's gonna run away.
Carrie: Tim, it's a big job. I can't blow off Olaf. You know, this is unbelievable. I came all this way and now my sister won't even know I was here.
Tim: Yeah, wait a minute. Yes, she will. Heidi? My camera, please. Thank you, Heidi.
Heidi: You're welcome.
Tim: All right. Say cheese.
Al: We can eat the cheese?
Tim: No!
Carrie: OK, I'm off.

Jill: Hello? Hello?
Henry: Hello.
Jill: Oh, hi, Henry. I'm so excited to see you.
Henry: Me, too. Who are you?
Jill: I'm your cousin Jill. We just spoke on the phone a couple of hours ago.
Henry: Tell me more.
Jill: I came here to get my old piano back. Remember? I told you the story about how my dad gave your mom my piano and how crushed I was. Devastated. Heartbroken?
Henry: Oh! Oh, that Jill. Sorry, I've been shellacking today. I get a little fuzzy.

Jill: Wow! Look at all this stuff!
Henry: You like it?
Jill: Yes. I do. You know, I remember when you used to pick through our garbage. I had no idea you were gonna shellac it and sell it for... a lot of money.
Henry: It's funny. The garbage in the can is worth nothing. But once it's in a gallery people whip out their checkbooks faster than you can say... whatever it is that people say.
Jill: Well... [Henry swats something away] put.