Jill: There is no way that I can show my face at this wedding.
Randy: Ah, darn. And we so wanted to go.
Jill: Do you think that's funny?
Randy: Not if you don't.
Brad: I could never go to that party and enjoy myself knowing that my mother was back here suffering. [off Jill's look] I know, it's not funny, Mom. I know!

Jill: Everybody's staring at me.
Tim: No, they're not.
Mark: Then who are they staring at?
Tim: Who do you think? The star of Tool Time. [waves]

Tim: Well, guys, I think there's something we can all learn from this.
Brad: Yeah, that a nose can be broken more than once in a day. [laughs]
Tim: I don't think that's it.

Mark: Dad, Mom is never gonna forgive you for this one.
Randy: Yeah, I'm just glad we got one great weekend in before everything came to a crashing end.
Brad: Yeah. I had a lot of fun. Sorry you're so dead, Dad.
Tim: I am not dead. I've got a million ideas up here how to make this up to your mom.
Mark: Are any of them good?
Tim: Not a one.

Tim: [talking in his sleep] That's 454 at the... Supercharged roller rockers. Tony... Hit it, Tony! That's 454...
Jill: Tim...
Tim: 454...
Jill: Tim...
Tim: [wakes up] Tony! Ton... Honey, hi. Boy, I was having a good dream.
Jill: What are you doing down here? You never came to bed.
Tim: I was afraid if I rolled over, I'd finish you off.

Tim: I feel bad that you got banged up this weekend.
Jill: Yeah, me too. It would've been nice to show up at the wedding without any hairline fractures.
Tim: You wouldn't have got hurt at all if I weren't so obsessed with having fun.
Jill: Well, I gotta admit that's another thing that really made me mad. You guys got to have all the fun.
Tim: Well, look. I promise you, next family wedding we go to, we'll all have no fun together.

Mark: Wow! This is gonna be a really cool wedding.
Tim: Not only that, Al's going up to Wilson's cabin. He's gonna do some fly-fishish. We can join those guys. If there's time, water skiing and off-roading.
Randy: Rad!
Brad: Cool! Offroading would be awesome.
Jill: Tim, there's not gonna be any time for all that. Here, guys. You do this.
Tim: How long does a wedding take? It's "I do," "I do," cut the cake, we're on the lake.
Jill: No, there's not just the wedding. We got the family barbecue, the rehearsal dinner, the rehearsal. And don't forget Aunt Edna's surprise birthday brunch.
Tim: I'm not gonna miss any of the family events. I am really looking forward to Carol and Tom's wedding.
Jill: Lisa and Jeff.
Tim: I'm looking forward to their wedding, too.

Jill: Tim, do you have to drive so fast?
Tim: I just want to make sure I don't miss one minute of that arrival dinner.
Jill: Yeah, right. What activity are you trying to squeeze in before the dinner? Water-skiing?
Tim: Absolutely not.
Mark: We're going fly-fishing.
Tim: Mark!
Jill: Tim?
Randy: Floor it, dad!

Tim: Boys, your room is through here. Hurry up. That last pit stop of your mom's cost us, like, 12 minutes.
Jill: Well, excuse me, I just didn't feel comfortable using a coffee can at 55 miles per hour.
Tim: That's too bad. That's one of the perks of driving by car.
Jill: I'll try to remember that next time.

Bonnie: [knocks] Tim?
Tim: Huh?
Bonnie: Hi! It's great to see you again.
Tim: It is.
Bonnie: You don't know who I am, do you?
Tim: No, I don't.
Bonnie: I'm Bonnie, Jill's second cousin. Uncle Tubby's daughter?
Tim: Oh, yeah. Gosh, how is Uncle Tubby doing?
Bonnie: He's been dead for ten years.
Tim: So he's doing the same then, isn't he?
Bonnie: Right. Anyway, some good news. I just put together an early arrival cocktail party. Doesn't that sound like just too much fun?
Tim: Oh, way too much!