Marie: Well, Jill, you gotta have the steak. It's just what the doctor ordered for your condition.
Jill: What condition?
Tim: Why don't you tell us about the steaks.
Marie: I told you, she doesn't have a condition.
Joe: Tim said she had a condition.
Tim: Hey, you know, he's right you can go anywhere for chicken. Let's have steaks.
Jill: And what condition would that be, Tim?
Joe: Tim said you got no pep and you stay in bed for days at a time.
Jill: And why did you say that?!
Tim: I didn't say that.
Joe: Yeah, you did.
Tim: I did not.
Jill: Then what did you say?
Tim: I was in the garage. I can't remember what I say in the garage 'cause of all the fumes in there.

Al: Randy, don't make fun of your brother. Sewing is a valuable skill that has served me well.
Randy: You know how to sew?
Al: You're darn tootin'! And I learned to sew in the navy.
Brad: I didn't know you were in the navy.
Al: Signed up when I was 18. Wanted to travel the world, cast my fortune to the wind, sail the seven seas.
Brad: Where'd you sail?
Al: Nowhere. I was stationed in Fallon, Nevada.

Al: So, how was the evening?
Tim: Great. I'm hungry.
Al: I thought you went out to dinner.
Jill: His steak was a little rare.
Tim: A little rare? That steak had a bell on it!

Tim: Where are those cookies?
Al: I ate them.
Tim: All of 'em?
Al: Well, you're not paying me. You said I could eat whatever I wanted.

Jill: Don't pay any attention to him. He's probably just upset because his wife has severe emotional problems.
Tim: I told Joe that to get him out of the garage. We've discussed this, haven't we?
Jill: So you said, "My wife is a slug"?
Tim: I was desperate. Where are those little sausages?
Jill: Al, Tim told our new neighbors that I was a depressed alcoholic with a sleeping disorder.
Tim: And only an insensitive jerk would have repeated that.
Al: You know, if you wanted those sausages, you should have told me.
Tim: Would you shut up?!
Jill: Don't take this out on Al. This isn't his problem.
Tim: No, the problem is The Meat Man.
Jill: No, the problem is your brain serves no function other than keeping your head from caving in!

Joe: Hey, Tool Man. [clunk] Boy, you're jumpy!
Tim: Do you ever use the front door, Joe?
Joe: You know, you really got me in hot water with your wife. I kept trying to figure out why you'd tell me a lie like that. Then it comes to me. You're having an affair, right?
Tim: No, I'm not having an affair.
Joe: OK, then I know what it is. You hate me.
Tim: I wouldn't say that...
Joe: Hey, don't apologize. I know The Meat Man comes on strong sometimes. I'm not everybody's cut of beef. I'm sorry. [they shake hands]
Tim: Hey, look. I'm the one who should apologize for that stupid story.
Joe: Ah, well, I should learn how to let people eat chicken.

Joe: Anyway, Tool Man, I got something for you.
Tim: That's all right, Joe. You didn't need to do that. Hey! Hey! This is an original '33.
Joe: Yeah, well, I felt real bad about denting your fake one.
Tim: These are impossible to find. I looked for two years.
Joe: Hey, hey, not for The Meat Man. I called in a few favors, drove to Ohio, bingo-bango, you got yourself a grill.
Tim: The grill of my dreams! This must have cost a fortune.
Joe: Hey, don't worry about it. I'm doing great. Anyway, when the hot rod's all done, give me a spin around the block, we'll call it even, OK?
Tim: You got it.
Joe: See you around, buddy.

Jill: Was that Joe's voice I heard?
Tim: Yeah. Look what he did. He found an original grill for the '33 - an original! You know, like I always say, you just gotta find the good in people.
Jill: So now you like The Meat Man?
Tim: Yeah, I like Meat Man.