Tim: How are you?
Jill: I heard that Al creamed you in the pumpkin race.
Tim: You know, that's the trouble with Halloween in this country. There's too much emphasis on winning.

Tim: Hey, Ronny!
Jill: Just back from glee club?
Mark: I need to borrow the video camera.
Jill: What for?
Mark: Well, Ronny and I are in a film class and we're making a movie.
Jill: A movie?
Tim: Wait, wait. Let me guess. A fun-filled romp with some musical interlude numbers. Fred Astaire and Ethel Mertz.

Mark: It's a horror film.
Tim: That sounds really cool.
Mark: I was hoping the family'd be in it.
Tim: Yeah, that sounds good.
Jill: Gosh! I haven't acted since high school. 'Course, that was just a couple of years ago. [silence] That was a joke.
Ronny: Good one.

Mark: Come on, Ronny. Let's go work on the script.
Tim: Nice talking to you, Ronny.

Jill: And how was your day, Andy?
Randy: Dandy! I've been accepted into Harvard and every other college in the western hemisphere.
Jill: That's wonderful! Have a cookie.
Tim: We certainly are blessed to have two such smart children.
Randy: No, Father. It is we who are blessed.
Brad: Because we have such great parents.
All: Ah!
Mark: And cut.

Tim: Let me in! Let me in! Let me in!
Jill: Your face is all smushed!
Tim: You could drive a truck up that nostril!
Jill: These things are great!

Jill: Too bad we promised him we wouldn't look at it.
Tim: Otherwise we could watch it and make sure he's on the right track.
Jill: Get a better feel for our characters.
Tim: For better performances in future scenes.
Jill: Oh, well, we made a promise.
Tim: Well, we always keep our promises.
Jill: Do we?
Tim: Not always.
Jill: I didn't think so.

Mark: [in movie] Perfect parents. The perfect sons. The perfect family. Except for the family member they ignore. The outcast, the forgotten son, Clark. But Clark's got a plan. And when he's done, they'll be sorry. Very sorry.
Tim: [clears throat] Who's Clark?

Tim: Hey! [laughs]
Jill: This is frightening.
Tim: It's twisted. It's morbid. This kid's great!

Jill: I thought that Mark was behaving strangely. This is worse than anything I ever imagined.
Tim: What are you talking about? He wanted to make a hideous movie. He delivered big time. This stuff is great!
Jill: No. This film is about a boy who thinks that his parents favor his brothers, so he turns them into freaks and kills them.
Tim: It's a great premise!
Jill: It's not a premise! It's the way he feels about us!
Tim: Oh, stop that. That's not how he feels about us. We don't favor Brad and Randy. It's just simple Halloween fun, honey.
Jill: No. This is obviously a boy who has some issues. We need to talk to him.
Tim: No. We're not gonna talk to him.
Jill: Why not?
Tim: He's finally interested in something. Let's not screw up something he's excited about.
Jill: He's excited about killing us!
Tim: At least it's something.