Madeline: Act Five.
Louise: Act Five.
Paris: Act Five?
Rory: Act Five.
Paris: Why don't they sew our sides together and rename us Chang and Eng?

Paris: Hey, anyone stupid enough to hang out with Butch Cassidy and the "Sun-dunce" Kid deserves whatever they get.
Rory: How'd he fall in with those guys?
Madeline: The year started, and there they were. All three of them. Side by side.
Louise: And practically dressing the same.
Madeline: It's very On the Town.

Lorelai: Screen tests?
Rory: Twenty-four takes.
Lorelai: I so want a copy.
Rory: Forget it.
Lorelai: Sell it on the Internet. Make a fortune. "First we brought you Pamela and Tommy Lee. Now prepare yourselves for the crazy antics of Rory and the Bard!"

Rory: Hey, I told Paris you'd make all of our costumes. She wants to have a concept meeting with you tomorrow at 3:00.
Lorelai: What?
Rory: She needs a resume and samples of your previous work and referrals.
Lorelai: And my bare butt to kiss.
Rory: I you think that'll set you apart from the other applicants, yes.

Tristin: Prof. Anderson forgot to include me when she made up the groups. So she told me to pick one.
Paris: Fine. You have four other acts to choose from. Take your pick.
Tristin: Well, Summer's in Act One, Beth and Jessica are in Act Two, Kate's in Act Three, Claire, Cathy and Mary are in Act Four. This is the only one free of ex-girlfriends.
Paris: So we're being punished for our good taste?

Sookie: You just seem very emotional about this ice cream maker.
Lorelai: I am not.
Sookie: You named the ice cream maker.
Lorelai: I name everything.
Sookie: You didn't name the toaster.
Lorelai: Poppy.
Sookie: You just made that up.
Lorelai: I did not. [off Sookie's look] All right, but admit it. Poppy is a damn good name for a toaster.

Lorelai: What dost my lady think?
Rory: That you're going to be late for the joust?
Lorelai: I meant of thy lovely headdress crafted by thy mother's artful hand.
Rory: It pleaseth me mucheth but hath my beauteous mother looked at the time?
Lorelai: Oh, crap.

Lorelai: Have you seen my bag with the beads and the fur that looks like Stalin's head?

Lorelai: What's with the face?
Rory: It's just, Tristin is in our group.
Lorelai: Oh, yeah, you told me.
Rory: Right. So Tristin, he's in our group, so that means he's... Wel... And Dean lives here, so this sucks.
Lorelai: Okay, you now what, Vanna? I'm going to need a few more vowels here.

Lorelai: Can I ask you one more question? [deep voice] Do you think my hair looks cool?
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: 'Cause, you know, some days I wake up and I'm, like, "Cool". Some days, I'm, like, "Could be cooler".
Rory: I won't wait up for you.
Lorelai: Like, today I got up and I was, like, "Left side cool, right side not so cool."
Rory: Bye.
Lorelai: [normal voice] Bye.