Michel Quote #91

Quote from Michel in Happy Birthday, Baby

Tobin: Michel, did you get a bagel?
Michel: I don't want a bagel.
Tobin: Are you sure? They're Kosher.
Michel: I don't eat bagels. Bagels are like glue in your intestines and ensure that everything that enters your body will remain there until you die.
Sookie: Ew. Shut up.

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 ‘Happy Birthday, Baby’ Quotes

Quote from Lorelai

Luke: You ate the cookie, and then you took a cookie out of the box and put it where the cookie you just ate was.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Luke: Well, that's nuts.
Lorelai: Rory made this for me, I don't wanna ruin it.
Luke: Then why'd you eat the cookie?
Lorelai: 'Cause I wanted a Mallomar.
Luke: But why didn't you just eat one out of the box?
Lorelai: 'Cause this one was right here. The box was all the way in the cupboard.
Luke: But you had to go to the cupboard to get the box to replace the cookie you ate off the table.
Lorelai: So?

Quote from Paris

Paris: Well, I didn't buy a new purse, I pierced my nose. And within an hour of having it done, my nose swelled up to four times its normal size, blocking all nasal passage, making it impossible to breathe. I went to the emergency room, where they pried the thing out of my nose and shot me up with antibiotics. I spent the night with an ice pack strapped to my face.
Rory: Oh, Paris.
Paris: It seems that I was allergic to the crap metal hoop that I paid $19.95 to have jammed into my nose.
Louise: Did you take a picture?
Paris: No, Louise, I did not take a picture. I was a little busy trying to get air to my brain cells, a burden you've not yet faced.

 Michel Gerard Quotes

Quote from Super Cool Party People

Lorelai: Is that our website?
Michel: It is.
Lorelai: What happened to it?
Michel: I made some modifications.
Lorelai: It's just a big picture of you.
Michel: Well, I figured since I'm the one who put the website together and I'm the one continuously updating the website, then I should be featured prominently on the website.
Lorelai: Featured? Sure. But where's the inn? All I see is your face.
Michel: Aha! But if you want to hear about the inn, you click on my mouth. See? And if you want pictures of the inn, you click on my eyes. And if you want to post something about the inn, you click on my ears. Clever, no?
Lorelai: You want to argue about this now or later?
Michel: Eh, later. I'm having too much fun.

Quote from Welcome to the Doll House

Lorelai: Where is all this stupid stuff coming from?
Michel: Looks like classic Home Shopping Channel merchandise to me.
Lorelai: I have not bought anything off the Home Shopping Channel.
Michel: That you remember.
Lorelai: How could I not remember?
Michel: You could be deluding yourself, suppressing a shameful, costly, and yes, extremely tacky shopping addiction from your memory.
Lorelai: I do not have a Home Shopping Channel addiction. This does look familiar, like I've seen it before.
Michel: Mmm-hmm. And was Joan Rivers or Suzanne Somers holding it up?
Lorelai: I'm not buying these things.
Michel: You keep telling yourself that.