Lorelai Quote #762
Lorelai: I think I have gangrene.
Rory: You do not.
Lorelai: And vertigo.
Rory: Oh, boy.
Lorelai: One leg feels shorter than the other.
Rory: This is gonna be the Vanity Fair paper-cut incident all over again, isn't it? Leave your bandage alone.
Lorelai: Look, it's turning purple, but a really glowy purple! Look!
Rory: No, thanks.
Lorelai: Maybe our rain gutters are radioactive or made out of some kind of alien metal so when I cut my hand, I got infected with an extraterrestrial substance which is altering my internal makeup. Oh, maybe I'll turn into a superhero!
Lorelai: Like, maybe tomorrow I'll wake up and suddenly be able to shower really fast.
Rory: We'll go pick out your cape after breakfast.
Quote from Luke
Luke: I don't want a wood-burning fireplace-
Luke: ...but if I take an apartment with a wood-burning fireplace even though I could give a rat's ass about a wood-burning fireplace, I have to pay an extra $200 a month for the wood-burning fireplace.
Lorelai: Yeah, but-
Luke: Three of the places make you put down a $500 deposit if you have a dog! Can you believe this?
Lorelai: You don't have a dog.
Luke: I know, but it's wrong.
Lorelai: Agreed. What else?
Luke: Parking! How can people ask you for a monthly fee for a parking space? I mean, they're making money off your rent, your utilities, when you use their coin-operated washer and dryer. That's cash directly in their pocket and, by the way, it's not even that good a parking space. It's out in the open under one of those trees that drops the sap on your car that eats away the paint.
Luke: Who's gonna pay for my car, huh? Where's my $500 paint-killing, tree-sap deposit?
Quote from Michel
Michel: Are you going to be down there long?
Lorelai: [o.s.] I just want to make sure Rory's bracelet didn't get kicked behind something.
Michel: And so earlier when you asked me to look for the bracelet and I told you I did look, and I did not find it, you...
Lorelai: Just decided to double-check.
Michel: Yes, though another theory is that you did not believe me.
Lorelai: I did, too.
Michel: No, I believe you thought I was lying that I did not actually get down on my hands and knees in a brand-new Donna Karan suit and crawl around on a floor where people who have stepped in mud and garbage and animal waste have been traipsing all day long.
Quote from Afterboom
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."
Quote from Let the Games Begin
Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.