Sookie: Bob has two seconds to get the hollandaise off the flame before I break his neck!
Lorelai: Sookie, listen, you hired Bob. You trained him in your image. He's great, and he's subbed for you before.
Sookie: But this is Thanksgiving, he has never done Thanksgiving.
Lorelai: He's ready, he'll sub for you seamlessly. Even Big Joe Newsanchor's have substitutes.
Sookie: And that's the thing. They still say, "And now the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather." You see? Dan is still associated with it even though he's off snorkeling or something, just like I'm gonna be associated with the dinner because Bob is substituting for Sookie.

Paris: My Thanksgiving is turning into a Wes Craven movie.
Rory: How so?
Paris: I called shelters to volunteer to serve food. It's Thanksgiving, you'd think they have needs. Nope. Every stupid soup kitchen in town turned me down because they have enough volunteers.
Rory: Bummer.
Paris: I'm on a couple waiting lists, but it doesn't look good.
Rory: I've never heard of too many volunteers.
Paris: Who are all these jackasses who volunteered anyway? They can't all be students like me. They're not all putting it on a college application. I get something out of it and these other people don't get a thing. Talk about selfish.

Lorelai: Oh, hey, Kirk. Doing your holiday shopping?
Kirk: Well, shopping, yes, and it is a holiday, but my shopping isn't holiday related, so technically no.