Jess Quote #34

Quote from Jess in Lost and Found

Lorelai: I mean, I know you hate the world, but I thought you liked Rory.
Jess: I didn't do anything.
Lorelai: Bull.
Jess: Whatever.
Lorelai: Oh, don't "whatever" me, you little jerk. You let Rory run around completely panicked thinking she lost the bracelet. She was miserable. Do you understand that?
Jess: I didn't take it.
Lorelai: I'm sure you're jealous of Dean because he's great and Rory's madly in love with him. But you taking the bracelet didn't hurt Dean, it hurt Rory. That bracelet is the most precious thing she owns. She never takes it off. It means everything to her. And you stealing it was unbelievably cruel.
Jess: The most precious thing she owns?
Lorelai: Yes!
Jess: If it's the most precious thing she owns why did it take her two weeks to figure out it was gone, huh? You might want to reevaluate how madly in love she is. I wouldn't start calling him "son" yet.
Lorelai: Get out of here.
Jess: You read my mind.

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 ‘Lost and Found’ Quotes

Quote from Michel

Michel: Are you going to be down there long?
Lorelai: [o.s.] I just want to make sure Rory's bracelet didn't get kicked behind something.
Michel: And so earlier when you asked me to look for the bracelet and I told you I did look, and I did not find it, you...
Lorelai: Just decided to double-check.
Michel: Yes, though another theory is that you did not believe me.
Lorelai: I did, too.
Michel: No, I believe you thought I was lying that I did not actually get down on my hands and knees in a brand-new Donna Karan suit and crawl around on a floor where people who have stepped in mud and garbage and animal waste have been traipsing all day long.

Quote from Luke

Luke: I don't want a wood-burning fireplace-
Lorelai: Luke?
Luke: ...but if I take an apartment with a wood-burning fireplace even though I could give a rat's ass about a wood-burning fireplace, I have to pay an extra $200 a month for the wood-burning fireplace.
Lorelai: Yeah, but-
Luke: Three of the places make you put down a $500 deposit if you have a dog! Can you believe this?
Lorelai: You don't have a dog.
Luke: I know, but it's wrong.
Lorelai: Agreed. What else?
Luke: Parking! How can people ask you for a monthly fee for a parking space? I mean, they're making money off your rent, your utilities, when you use their coin-operated washer and dryer. That's cash directly in their pocket and, by the way, it's not even that good a parking space. It's out in the open under one of those trees that drops the sap on your car that eats away the paint.
Lorelai: Luke?
Luke: Who's gonna pay for my car, huh? Where's my $500 paint-killing, tree-sap deposit?

Quote from Jess

Jess: So, you guys aren't too hot on vegetables, huh?
Lorelai: What are you talking about? There's green pepper in the Kung Pao.
Jess: My mistake.
Lorelai: So, are you a healthy eater like Luke?
Jess: No one's a healthy eater like Luke. Euell Gibbons wasn't a healthy eater like Luke.
Lorelai: Wow, it's been ages since I heard a good Euell Gibbons reference.
Jess: Many parts of the pine tree are edible.
Lorelai: That's right. God, I wonder what the research process was like to get that information.
Jess: I'd say fairly painful.