Lorelai Quote #2425

Quote from Lorelai in Merry Fisticuffs

Lorelai: Two hours we spent picking out invitations. Two hours.
Christopher: Wow.
Lorelai: Not counting the one hour we spent picking out the calligraphy for a party.
Christopher: This is gonna be some shindig.
Lorelai: "Would you like the brown card with the cream-colored detail and the parchment insert, or would you like the cream-colored card with the silk lining and the clear paper insert?" How about I'd like some cyanide and a 30-story building to jump off of?

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 ‘Merry Fisticuffs’ Quotes

Quote from Kirk

Kirk: You've got your stoking plant, your festive ornament collage, your snowman trio, your peekaboo Santa.
Miss Patty: Well, it's lovely, Kirk, but I already bought my wrapping paper from the kids from the Stars Hollow middle school.
Kirk: Well, then, you got ripped off.
Miss Patty: What?
Kirk: Those kids are gouging you. I'm selling the same wrapping paper for 20% less.
Luke: Aren't the kids selling the wrapping paper to help raise money for a new gymnasium?
Kirk: Yeah.
Luke: Well, why are you?
Kirk: To raise money for myself. I'm not a school, Luke. No one's raising money for me. I saw the opportunity to enter the market at a lower price point and I took it.
Miss Patty: Ho, ho, ho.
Kirk: What, schoolchildren are the only ones allowed to sell wrapping paper? It's a free country. [a boy enters] Hey, Jacob! Beat it. This is my territory.

Quote from Lorelai

Emily: You're here.
Lorelai: I'm here!
Emily: You're 37 minutes late, but you're here.
Lorelai: Uh... traffic.
Emily: It's Sunday morning, Lorelai. The roads are empty.
Lorelai: Will you let me finish, Mom? Traffic cones everywhere. I mean, you wouldn't believe it. It's like a crazy obstacle course out there. It's a miracle I survived. Maybe we should do this another day when I'm less stressed from the traffic-cone dodging.

 Lorelai Gilmore Quotes

Quote from Afterboom

Rory: Ready?
Lorelai: Okay. Wait. Just wait. We can still leave.
Rory: No.
Lorelai: Rory, right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, "Don't go in there."

Quote from Let the Games Begin

Emily: What on earth does Frank Lloyd Wright have to do with my salad?
Richard: And your walnuts.
Lorelai: Mrs. Wright apparently had this major problem with her help. She was very rough on them and they totally hated her. So this guy who had worked for her forever, he had finally had enough. I believe the incident was over walnuts, wasn't it, honey?
Rory: The exact cause has not been proven.
Lorelai: Anyhow, Mrs. Wright invites this whole posse of people over for dinner and they're all sitting around eating, and Mr. Disgruntled Servant Guy goes outside and locks all the doors and windows and douses the whole house in gasoline and sets the place on fire.
Emily: My goodness.
Lorelai: So the house is on fire, and people are freaking out, so they run to the doors but the doors are locked, so a few of them try to get out through the windows, but Mr. Angry-Puss is standing outside with an ax hacking them to death and so they all died.
Emily: Why on earth would you tell me that story?
Lorelai: All I'm saying is, sometimes eating a walnut is preferable to getting hacked to death or set on fire during dinner.
Emily: One of these days I'm going to make you eat in your room.