Kirk: You've got your stoking plant, your festive ornament collage, your snowman trio, your peekaboo Santa.
Miss Patty: Well, it's lovely, Kirk, but I already bought my wrapping paper from the kids from the Stars Hollow middle school.
Kirk: Well, then, you got ripped off.
Miss Patty: What?
Kirk: Those kids are gouging you. I'm selling the same wrapping paper for 20% less.
Luke: Aren't the kids selling the wrapping paper to help raise money for a new gymnasium?
Kirk: Yeah.
Luke: Well, why are you?
Kirk: To raise money for myself. I'm not a school, Luke. No one's raising money for me. I saw the opportunity to enter the market at a lower price point and I took it.
Miss Patty: Ho, ho, ho.
Kirk: What, schoolchildren are the only ones allowed to sell wrapping paper? It's a free country. [a boy enters] Hey, Jacob! Beat it. This is my territory.

Emily: You're here.
Lorelai: I'm here!
Emily: You're 37 minutes late, but you're here.
Lorelai: Uh... traffic.
Emily: It's Sunday morning, Lorelai. The roads are empty.
Lorelai: Will you let me finish, Mom? Traffic cones everywhere. I mean, you wouldn't believe it. It's like a crazy obstacle course out there. It's a miracle I survived. Maybe we should do this another day when I'm less stressed from the traffic-cone dodging.

Emily: I got Randall Farber as your party planner.
Lorelai: He's canceling my wedding party?
Emily: He spent the last 15 years as designer-in-residence at the Connecticut Opera House.
Lorelai: Boss.
Emily: This is a real coup, Lorelai. Your father and I have been fans of his work for years, and he's only just begun designing parties. Two months ago, we went to Abigail Hirschfeld's granddaughter's bar mitzvah, and it was the most spectacular event. The whole decor was inspired by Britten's A Midsummer Night's Dream I swear I felt like I was in an enchanted forest the entire night, except for the children running around with braces.