Kirk: You've got your stoking plant, your festive ornament collage, your snowman trio, your peekaboo Santa.
Miss Patty: Well, it's lovely, Kirk, but I already bought my wrapping paper from the kids from the Stars Hollow middle school.
Kirk: Well, then, you got ripped off.
Miss Patty: What?
Kirk: Those kids are gouging you. I'm selling the same wrapping paper for 20% less.
Luke: Aren't the kids selling the wrapping paper to help raise money for a new gymnasium?
Kirk: Yeah.
Luke: Well, why are you?
Kirk: To raise money for myself. I'm not a school, Luke. No one's raising money for me. I saw the opportunity to enter the market at a lower price point and I took it.
Miss Patty: Ho, ho, ho.
Kirk: What, schoolchildren are the only ones allowed to sell wrapping paper? It's a free country. [a boy enters] Hey, Jacob! Beat it. This is my territory.

Emily: You're here.
Lorelai: I'm here!
Emily: You're 37 minutes late, but you're here.
Lorelai: Uh... traffic.
Emily: It's Sunday morning, Lorelai. The roads are empty.
Lorelai: Will you let me finish, Mom? Traffic cones everywhere. I mean, you wouldn't believe it. It's like a crazy obstacle course out there. It's a miracle I survived. Maybe we should do this another day when I'm less stressed from the traffic-cone dodging.

Emily: I got Randall Farber as your party planner.
Lorelai: He's canceling my wedding party?
Emily: He spent the last 15 years as designer-in-residence at the Connecticut Opera House.
Lorelai: Boss.
Emily: This is a real coup, Lorelai. Your father and I have been fans of his work for years, and he's only just begun designing parties. Two months ago, we went to Abigail Hirschfeld's granddaughter's bar mitzvah, and it was the most spectacular event. The whole decor was inspired by Britten's A Midsummer Night's Dream I swear I felt like I was in an enchanted forest the entire night, except for the children running around with braces.

Kirk: You know, baby's first Christmas is approaching. Have you given thought to what baby's first Christmas gift will be wrapped in?
Liz: No.
Kirk: I have baby Santa, cuddly reindeers, Frosty's world-
Luke: Kirk.
Kirk: Yeah, okay.

Lorelai: [answers phone] Hello?
Rory: How goes the party planning?
Lorelai: [dramatically] What? What happened?
Rory: That good, huh?
Lorelai: Is he okay?
Rory: I'm not participating in this.
Lorelai: Oh, my God. What can I do? What do you need?
Rory: You're not using this phone call to get out of party-planning hell.
Lorelai: Oh, I'll be right there.
Rory: Mom!
Emily: I can hear Rory on the other end, Lorelai. You're not as clever as you think you are.
Lorelai: You rat.

Kirk: So business has been going like gangbusters.
Luke: Congratulations.
Kirk: Yeah, I'm destroying those Stars Hollow middle school kids. Destroying. Outselling them by three or four times. I think it's safe to say they won't be getting their new gym anytime soon.
Luke: You must be very proud.
Kirk: I am. Sure there's been an increase in prank phone calls, but so what? I can answer the phone all day long.
Luke: I'm sure.
Kirk: And so they've ordered pizzas to my house day and night. You know what? I love pizza. Bring it on. They think they're intimidating me, but I'm not scared.
Luke: 12-year-olds don't scare you.
Kirk: Not at all.

Lorelai: The vows?
Emily: Wedding vows.
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Emily: They can be traditional, or you can write your own, which seems to be the style, nowadays, although if you ask me, it's rather garish. Cecily Pendelem's daughter actually promised to cook her husband lasagna once a month. Who wants to hear the word "lasagna" at a wedding?

Lorelai: [answers phone] Hi. Uh... 143.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: I want to talk to you, but I'm gonna lose count, so remember 143.
Rory: 143 what?
Lorelai: Soaps.
Rory: What are you doing?
Lorelai: Inventory.
Rory: At the inn?
Lorelai: No, at the Pentagon. I'm tracking soaps and nuclear missiles for General Abizaid.
Rory: Isn't it a little late?
Lorelai: The general's a slave driver.

Rory: [on the phone] So why would he do it?
Lorelai: I have no idea. Mars and Venus, you know?
Rory: Yeah, see, I don't think that's right. Because Mars and Venus are both planets, right? So they have something in common. I think it's more like Mars and a bowl of soup.
Lorelai: Venus and a bowl of soup.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Venus is the woman. Venus and the bowl of soup.
Rory: Really, Mom?
Lorelai: Well, I'm just saying.

Christopher: Okay, I got a meeting in half an hour, so I better run.
Lorelai: Okay, well, have a great day.
Christopher: Thanks again for breakfast.
Lorelai: My pleasure.
Christopher: You make a hell of a frittata.
Lorelai: Well, it's my specialty. What time will you be home?
Christopher: Around 6:00-ish.
Lorelai: All right, I might make a frittata for dinner.
Christopher: Ooh, sounds good.
Lorelai: Have a great day, honey.
Christopher: Bye, hon. [walks off and back] So what'd you think?
Lorelai: Frittata?
Christopher: Felt pretty good, huh?
Lorelai: No, it did. It's homey. Home-ish. Home-like.