Lorelai: [on the phone] Where the hell are you?
Christopher: Boston.
Lorelai: Boston?
Christopher: Yeah. Baked beans, cream pie, tea party, strangler.
Lorelai: oh, that Boston.
Christopher: And you?
Lorelai: Me?
Christopher: Where are you?
Lorelai: Helsinki.
Christopher: Really?
Lorelai: Yeah, I finally got the girl band together. And after a week opening stateside, we headed across the Atlantic, and now we're huge with the Nordic set.

Lorelai: Hey, little debbie, your dad is definitely gonna be there.
Rory: You're kidding.
Lorelai: No. He's gonna walk you down the stairs, turn you in a circle, watch you curtsy and announce that Rory Gilmore is officially open for business.
Rory: I can't believe it. And he definitely said "definitely"?
Lorelai: Definitely.
Rory: So there's a 50-50 chance?
Lorelai: I don't know. He sounded pretty sure. I'd say 60-40.

Lorelai: [on the phone] I don't have to ask her, Mom, 'cause I know the answer. I know the answer, Mom. Yeah. No. Well, I don't have to ask her- Hold on. Rory, would you like Grandma's hairstylist to come and set your hair before the ball? [Rory grimaces] Oh, I did not coach her, Mom. Go back to talking about gloves.

Rory: I think you're gonna look great in a tux.
Lane: Tails.
Dean: What?
Lane: Yeah, according to this it says that: "All escorts must be properly attired in black tails, white cummerbunds, and white gloves."
Dean: What?
Rory: I'm sure the gloves are optional.
Lane: Not according to this.
Dean: Tails? Gloves?
Rory: Remember Neil Young. Remember that you love me. Remember that I'll be watching BattleBots with you for a month.
Dean: Ugh, show me Neil Young again.

Christopher: I believe this belongs to you.
Rory: The Compact Oxford English Dictionary.
Christopher: I promised you I'd get it. I'm just sorry it took so long.
Rory: That's okay.
Christopher: On the bright side, this is the new edition. If I'd gotten you the old one, it wouldn't have the word 'jiggy' in it.

Miss Patty: Keep counting in your heads. Look each other in the eye. Dean, are you leading?
Dean: I have no idea.
Miss Patty: Okay, okay, okay, stop, stop, stop. Now, remember, one of the most important things in ballroom dancing is to remember to spot. Otherwise, you're gonna get dizzy. So what you want to do is you want to pick out something to focus on. I usually like to find a lonely seaman. Then when turning, whip your head around and find your spot again. [spins] Hello, sailor. Hello, sailor. Hello, sailor. Now you try it.
Dean: You got to be kidding me.
Rory: I think you can do it without the 'hello, sailor' part.
Dean: Rory.
Rory: BattleBots.
Dean: For the rest of your life.
Miss Patty: Now take it from the top.

Lorelai: Did you know you still knew how to do that?
Christopher: I wish I didn't. Imagine what we could do if we freed up the brain space it holds on the Viennese waltz.
Lorelai: Yeah, it's right up there between old Brady Bunch reruns and the lyrics to Rapture.

Lorelai: See now, only a lady can gracefully walk around a room with a book on her head while eating kung pao chicken. I mean, a great lady can even spit the peanuts into the container without anyone noticing.
Rory: Wow.
Lorelai: Well, don't be intimidated. You have to practice a lot to get to my level.

Lorelai: No! Ladies never get their egg rolls, they never get their own anything. Not even their own ideas.
Rory: Oh, boy.
Lorelai: They just sit helplessly and wait for some young, strong man to come by and assist them. They don't step in puddles or over puddles. They can't even look at puddles. They actually need to be blindfolded and thrown in a sack and carried over puddles.
Rory: Isn't there a moratorium on how long ladies are supposed to talk?
Lorelai: Uh, no. Now, repeat after me, "I am completely helpless."

Lorelai: I don't know about that girl. I don't know how she's ever gonna make it in society. At this rate, she's gonna actually get a job and only marry once.