Emily: [doorbell rings] Gerta, you're half my age. Why do I always beat you to the door?

Emily: We're going to try to get them to add another floor so that it's taller than everything around it.
Richard: Make it stand out a bit more.
Rory: More than this?!
Lorelai: I love the portrait idea.
Rory: Who's not helping?

Lorelai: Oh, my God. What are you doing?
Christopher: What do you mean what am I doing? I thought "restroom" was code for "Follow me, and we'll talk about how to get you out of this."
Lorelai: What the hell kind of spy school did you go to?

Christopher: I thought I was having dinner with you and Rory. I didn't realize I was going on a date.
Lorelai: Well, luckily you didn't get ugly overnight.
Christopher: Thanks a lot, by the way.
Lorelai: What did I do?
Christopher: Nothing! You're sitting there, you not saying anything.
Lorelai: What are you talking about? When Mom said, "Doesn't he look like Cary Grant?" I said, "Yes."

Lorelai: How do I know you don't want to date her? You're single. She's single. You're pretty. She's pretty. It's how all great divorces start.

Christopher: How did I used to get out of here?
Lorelai: What are you talking about?
Christopher: In high school, I'd be in your room. I had several ways of sneaking out of here.
Lorelai: Chris.
Christopher: Which drainpipe was it that I used to crawl down?
Lorelai: Christopher!
Christopher: I think he used to get to it from the attic windows. Does the attic window still access the drainpipe that drops you off by the garage?
Lorelai: You do know you're grown up now. You can just walk out the front door.
Christopher: If I just leave, I'll insult your parents.
Lorelai: But vanishing into thin air, way more polite.

Lorelai: Hey, Lynnie, I have a recurring dream where a walrus waddles up, lies down on me, falls asleep, and I can't breathe. What do you think it means?
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: What, dad? Lynnie is a psychologist. She should know.
Lynnie: It's okay. It could mean a myriad of things. Too much stress at work, something in your life is strangling you, you've read Alice in Wonderland too many times.
Emily: Touchee, Lynnie.
Richard: She's got wit and wisdom, this one.

Lorelai: Hey, what's it called when you're afraid of spiders?
Lynnie: Arachnophobia.
Emily: You have arachnophobia?
Lorelai: No.
Richard: Thank goodness.
Lorelai: What's it called when you're afraid of people who are afraid of spiders? 'Cause that one I've got.
Emily: Oh, lord.
Lynnie: I don't think there's a technical term for that yet.
Lorelai: How about arachnophobiaphobia? 'Cause that makes sense.

Emily: You know, Christopher, Lynnie-
Lorelai: Voices in your head, totally normal, right?
Lynnie: Excuse me?
Lorelai: There's only two that speak English.
Emily: Lorelai, eat your paella.

Lorelai: Sorry if I talked too much during dinner. Every now and then, I just feel the need to re-enact certain key scenes from Purple Rain, you know, for a captive audience. The Lake Minnetonka scene really bugs my mom...
Lynnie: So I could analyze that one for you if you want.
Lorelai: That one, I've got a handle on. Other things are more fuzzy, but that one, I got.