Lorelai: You seem mad.
Luke: Not mad, just bugged.
Lorelai: Luke, I swear. Kirk will never bother your business on our behalf again.
Luke: Oh, it's not that.
Lorelai: What then?
Luke: I've got this table of bozos sitting over there all day long ordering nothing but iced tea.
[Norman Mailer talks to a journalist at a table]
Lorelai: Aw, bummer.

Luke: You left your keys in the stove?
Lorelai: No, my socks.
Luke: Your socks, of course. How naive of me.
Lorelai: It makes them warm and slightly toasty.
Lorelai: Huh, that's weird.
Luke: What's weird? There's so much to choose from.
Lorelai: They're still damp. I followed the recipe. "Bake at two-fifty, ten minutes on one side, ten on the other, they should be done by now." Think my oven's broken?
Luke: What about your dryer?
Lorelai: No, dryer's fine.

Luke: I think we should get to the movies.
Lorelai: All done, let's go.
Luke: Keys!
Lorelai: Ah, forget about them. I'll just leave the door unlocked.
Luke: You can't leave the door unlocked. That's not safe.
Lorelai: Sure it is.
Luke: Just because you say it's safe doesn't make it safe.
Lorelai: If you build it, they will come.

Lorelai: [on the phone to Rory] Luke did the funniest bit before, I thought you would so be-
Luke: Would you stop? I did not do a bit.
Lorelai: What are you talking about? The bit! It was a riot.
Luke: It wasn't a bit! I banged my head on the stove and it hurt like hell.
Lorelai: No. No, you said it funnier before. Do it again!
Luke: I told you, I never did it in the first place. You did it, it's your bit.
Lorelai: How could it be my bit when it's your head in the oven?
Luke: Exactly. My head, my conk, no bit.

Rory: [on the phone] Mom, just wondering, did you call for any particular reason?
Lorelai: Just checking in, seeing how you're doing. How are you doing?
Rory: I'm fine.
Lorelai: Aw, what's wrong?
Rory: What makes you think something's wrong?
Lorelai: You've got Bambi voice.
Rory: I do not have Bambi voice.
Lorelai: Spill, please.

Rory: [on the phone] I already have a ton of data and pages of research and, ooh, the best thing is, Nancy, this girl on the fourth floor, her father was the guy who ran security at the gallery when Lars Ulrich sold all his art and he said he would try to get him on the phone for an interview, and... I've gotta breathe now.
Dean: I think that was a record.

Paris: [on the phone] Monsignor, why is my asking you keep your cell on vibrate during mass in case I need to fact check a quote outrageous? Rabbi Feldman's doing it for me on Shabbat and he's flying against the Talmud there.

Rory: [on the phone] Since when do you work on Thursday?
Dean: Since Taylor decided to cash in on the 24-hour trucker crowd.
Rory: What trucker crowd?
Dean: The trucker crowd off Highway 84.
Rory: Since when does the trucker crowd off Highway 84 come through Star's Hollow?
Dean: Since we installed an Icee machine.

Rory: [on the phone] So I guess that's week after next, huh?
Dean: Yeah, I guess so.
Rory: I turn in my article on that Monday.
Dean: Monday night it is.
Rory: They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Dean: Yeah. Sex can do that also.
Rory: Amen, brother.

Paris: If Rabbi Feldman calls, tell him I got the stats from Edward James Olmos' office, so I'm good. Bye.